8 Days til CHRISTMAS! :)

Almost Christmas!!!

This week we had our advent Novena. It started last Thursday and ended this morning and each morning at 5:30 am we had Mass at our local parish. I want to say that it took a LOT of dedication to get up each morning but was well worth it. I got so many things done when I got home at 6:30 and was already wide awake. Since I leave the house at 6:45 on tuesday and thursday it was kind of a crunch time, but it was still alright.

One of my favorite homilies this week talked about how much time we put into our faith. I started to think about how some people get really frustrated when they don't understand their own religion and yet don't take the time to figure it out. I was thinking about sports and how to be good at a sport we must practice. If you wanted to be a good basketball player but only practiced once a week for one hour - you wouldn't accomplish anything. Even if you practiced for one hour every week of your life you still wouldn't be at the best of your ability. Even worse say you only practiced twice a year, now how could you expect to know much of anything about the sport rather than what you see. Our faith is exactly the same. If you don't understand the Catholic church or why it teaches what it does - and you don't put any other extra effort into it, its not going to magically appear.

This made me think to myself "How much effort do I put into my faith life?". If I put even 10% of the energy that I put into work into my faith, I know I would be improving my faith life from today. God's messages to us don't transfer into our minds by osmosis, we must study his word, listen to his pastors, and take time to talk with Him and listen to what He has to say to us. Next time I find something about the Church or the Bible I don't understand I realize maybe it's my own fault because my priorities aren't exactly in the right place. We have no one to blame but ourselves if we don't become NBA players when we only practice basketball once a week. :)

This week was the last week of school and all that I had left to do was clean up my room and attend the school party. I really enjoyed just being around the school and not having a lot of work to get done or accomplish! :) I met some of my parents students this week and one of them said to me: "Ohhh, you're miss Ashley, yes I hear a LOT about you, almost every time my son comes home from school he tells me something about you". I felt really awkward but at the same time i'm glad to know that my students enjoy my class somewhat. Now I just need to start working on my lesson plans for next term.

We had our staff party last night for the school and it was a lot of fun. I always enjoy dressing up in Guyana! We just had a dinner and then we got gifts from the school. I got a really beautiful weaved baskets!! Its nice to see everyone dressed up and talking about something other than school for once. My co-workers all really make me laugh and are very supportive of each other and I really appreciate that.


Yesterday we had the MOST CRAZY DAY EVER at the hospital. I walked in at 8am and was told that they needed someone in the ER immediately. My supervisor told me that the lady who is normally there isn't here yet, and that I would be much better than him at grief so he sent me down. We had a woman who had lost her husband and her seven children were on the way to see him. I just kept praying that the counselor who deals with grief would show up quickly and lead the team. Right as the children arrived she walked in to and I thanked God that she was able to take over. I obviously stayed and helped her, but it was a huge relief. Once all of that had happened we had to see all the patients for the day and then get ready for the childrens party. I face painted with another young woman and it was a really great time. The only thing was once I stopped face painting at the end of the party around 5:30, I realized that was the first time I had stopped moving since 8 that morning. I hadn't had time to even take lunch or think about eating. I was glad that there was Roti and curry there when we finished face paiting - nothing like you're favorite food to end a CRAZY day!! :)



Georgetown before Christmas is always chaos and I do not enjoy how long it takes to get home on the bus anymore. I have never been a huge fan of crowds and I am going to enjoy when all of the Christmas chaos is over... I still have to go and buy my christmas presents and I am not looking forward to the long lines. Mmmm i'm looking forward to all of the Christmas food :) It's still always hard to believe that it's Christmas without any snow. Not that I really miss the cold, rather I just miss the clean look and beauty that snow gives to a city.

I hope you all have a blessed last week of advent!! I will make sure to post a blog after Christmas sharing all of our Christmas Adventures!!


Merry Christmas!!!


Love,

Ashley Ann

Land of Many Changes*

Good Afternoon,


Since the last time that I wrote so many things have changed. November ended and December came, elections happened and results were delivered, the Mass as i've known it my whole life is now different and Advent began which always brings about a good change in the liturgical year.

On November 28th Guyana held its elections. I have to say that the city of Georgetown was very tense before the elections. Walking down the street the weekend before you could notice that there were less people out, and things seemed quiet. Monday was election day and it came and went very quietly. Tuesday morning I took a taxi to work and all my co-workers were sitting around talking about what was going to happen. Everyone kept commenting on how quiet it had been the past weekend and how on election day not a soul went out anywhere but to the polls. It took until thursday to receive the results. They were suppose to be released at 2pm, and when I got home at 4:05 Audrey told me how I was just in time to recieve the results. I remember walking from the end of our block where I was dropped off to our house just before I came in the house. I had been thinking about how still things can be in the moments before we know change is going to occur. We have hopes of what is going to happen, but because there is no control I find the stillness makes me realize how much is out of our control. The PPP/C won the elections and Donald Ramotar is the new president of Guyana. The PPP/C did not win Majority in the house, and for the FIRST time since Guyana became an independent nation has had a shared government.

On Sunday Nov 27th, the first sunday of Advent Sarah Audrey and I were walking into evening church. As we were walking in Sarah said: "And Mass as we know it has changed, I didn't even realize last weekend would be the last Mass as I have known it my whole life". We had already heard the new Mass at daily Mass at the Cathedral for the past couple of months so for us it wasn't a dramatic change. I personally don't think the changes are all that great to create any sort of major fuss. I feel like it was received well in Guyana and I heard very few complaints. I would also like to thank Father John as I feel he gave many homily's preparing us all. No one likes to change a routine that is so ingrained you  know everything. It's like moving to a new house, or changing countries. It takes a while at first, and we are going to be a little uncomfortable, but eventually and soon enough Mass will once again become home.

This past weekend we went on retreat in New Amsterdam, Berbeice. It was our Advent retreat and it was very fruitful for me. We stayed behind the church in a building which is half a rec type center, and half a retreat house. When we first got there we all took naps as one of the most important parts of retreat is catching up on rest of course! After that it happened to be the first friday of the month so there was exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, Benediction and Mass. For those of you who are not Catholic - exposition of Blessed Sacrament, or adoration is where we go to adore and pray before Christ. We believe the Eucharist or the communion host, is actually the body, blood, soul and divinity of Christ. We put it in a device called a Monstrance which is basically a gold display case -

I always think about my Totus Tuus team member Drew Brawn and how he explained the effects of Adoration. Adoration is like sun tanning. Sometimes when we go tanning we can't see the effects right away, we can't tell what is happening. Yet eventually and gradually we start to see changes. So as tanning effects our outer body - being in front of the Son, the Son of God, is like tanning for your soul. You won't be able to see the effects right away but just being in the presence of the Lord changes you, slowly. We may not feel the effects, but faith is not about feelings. Just like how married couples may not always feel the love they have, that doesn't mean its not there. Its in those moments when we don't feel the love that both in marriage and in faith it is the most important to stay faithful and be perserverant. 

I can firmly say that after a weekend from Georgetown I felt much more relaxed. I felt the results of it this week when I was able to be more patient with my students who have a tendency to push my buttons. I think one of my favorite memories of retreat was when I was laying on my bed and Audrey came to talk with me. At first she sat on the chair across the room and we were chatting and then she had to run to check if it was lunch time. When she came back all of a sudden I felt her jump on my bed and we laid there for about 45 minutes just talking about life. We kept talking about how much we have changed since last December and how Guyana has become a different country to us. God has shown himself to us in different ways and through it all we have committed to each other as support and nonjudgmental support. We were able to talk through a lot of different things that were going through our minds and at the end of it I felt relief.  I would never be able to experience that without the feeling of support that I received from my friend.

This past week I wrapped up my class for the term by allowing my students to finish off their Microsoft PowerPoint assignment. During one of the classes about half finished early in the period and since it was the last class of the term I gave them free time. The slower girls were still working. Whenever one of them would raise their hand before I would get to them another girl would run over and help. I felt very proud that they were so self sufficent that they could function without my help. At the same time it was one of those moments where I felt sad that I was no longer needed. I am excited to start again in a new area next term! :) 

The only other thing that happened this week was the Festival of Carols at the Cathedral and Mass for the Immaculate Conception. Our Cathedral is the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception so we always have a huge Mass celebrating it. I enjoyed very much hearing from the Bishop. The festival of carols is just a collection of individuals and choirs preforming different christmas songs. It was a good night out to relax and begin to get into the Christmas Season. 

I hope you are all enjoying your Advent. Before we know it Christmas will be here!!! 

Love and prayers, 

Ashley Ann

     "Advent is concerned with that very connection between memory and hope which is so necessary to man. Advent’s intention is to awaken the most profound and basic emotional memory within us, namely, the memory of the God who became a child. This is a healing memory; it brings hope. The purpose of the Church’s year is continually to rehearse her great history of memories, to awaken the heart’s memory so that it can discern the star of hope.…
     It is the beautiful task of Advent to awaken in all of us memories of goodness and thus to open doors of hope."
Memory Awakens Hope. . . . . . . . . Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, Seek That Which Is Above,1986

Please pray for Katie Grace

Hello everyone,

As a kid did you ever eat a whole bunch of sour candy and then your stomach felt really upset? There is a "fruit" here called Tamarind, I don't know if its really a fruit, but anyway - it makes a really really sour syrup that is made into these small balls which are coated in sugar. I just ate two of them and although the sour sweet tasted great going down, I now have a small regret eating them all.

This week has been a very stressful week. I think I do a very good job at focusing on the positive aspects of Guyana, but to be honest there are a ton of stressful things. My biggest stress currently is the dynamics at my work place. I work at a hospital where finances are extremely tight. In fact finances are so tight that we don't even have soap and paper towels in our bathrooms because that is an extra added expense.

I work in a department that has two social workers plus me. One of the social workers recently resigned and in the process of resignation there was a ton of office drama that showed the true colors of both the administration of the hospital and the department. I don't think its any different that another part of the world trying to cut costs and make money, but where is the mercy. I feel lost and confused at how to handle the stark reality that the world will always be flawed.

I wish and dream for justice for everyone who is involved in the situation but it will never happen because people are simply prideful and self absorbed. And I don't just mean this in this context but in general. You find wicked people all over the world, and yet whenever I see wickedness I lose my temper and want to fight. I don't often yell or get upset but when I see true injustice my blood pressure goes through the roof.

The world is in chaos because we love things and like people. I often pray that I truly learn to be prudent in all my decisions because I dread the idea of growing up to be a person who loves things and likes people. I pray that I grow up and don't lose the drive to have mercy and compassion.

Last weekend the homily at Church very much applies to my life here as a missionary and it follows:

³¹ “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. ³² All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³ He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
   ³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
   ³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
   ⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
   ⁴¹ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
   ⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
   ⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
   ⁴⁶ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”


The priest at Mass made a very good point about how when Jesus said this Jesus wasn't talking about Check Book Ministry. This is actually something that has been on my mind for a very long time. I was walking down the road one day and I saw a young boy who was wearing a shirt that said: "A family in Canada loves me". And I thought to myself - does that family really love him, or do they give a small amount of the extra money they have out so that you can have a shirt, and maybe some food. Now I want to say that giving money is EXTREMELY important and that without financial support I couldn't be doing the work I am. So please, always feel free to continue writing supportive checks, but in this Gospel it shows us that Jesus calls for so much more. Do we know people who we could help and yet turn them away. 


So many times I see help in a bad way. For example there is an un-named organization that brings in donations to third world countries. The other day we got a whole shipment of G-string underwear. Seriously?! What you should call yourself G-strings for the poor?! I was so upset at the fact that people look at stuff and think: "Oh, I don't want this crap, so let me give this crap to someone who might also not be able to use this crap but it will make me feel better inside". Yes, old clothes are great and needed, but old underwear and socks is just degrading. Poor people have dignity. Sometimes that's all they have left and by treating them like dirt we treat Jesus like dirt. 

For example when you give food to the food shelf do you go through your house and give out all of the stuff that you aren't going to use? Are you really thinking about your neighbor when you do that? I guess I get so passionate about this because I know the faces and the names of people who could benefit so much from the excess of other people, but often just get sent junk. I don't think when Jesus said to clothe, feed, and give water to our neighbors he wanted us to give crap. 

When you are giving as Christ says when you help His people you help him. Would you change your donations if you thought of that every time you were about to help someone. 

Where is our focus, are we giving out of excess and guilt, or are we giving out of our heart?

These are some of the things that are constantly running through my mind as I complete my job here. I don't mean to be directly accusing anyone or calling anyone out. Rather - just frustrated at the fact that us humans are completely flawed and wishing for a perfectly just world. 

I know a young girl who is now HIV + because she was raped by someone close to her. I always find a lack of words to say but I've realized this week that I don't really need to say anything. Sometimes just always being there and being compassionate is the most you can do. Life really isn't fair, but we still have to make the best of it. 

On a somewhat brighter side I have student named Jamal who has ADHD to the MAX. He can't sit still, listen, or pay attention for more than 10 seconds. I have been struggling with him all year to accomplish anything and each week I get a little more frustrated. Last week I had come to the end of my patience and I couldn't handle him anymore. Then I decided to change my approach. Instead of getting mad at Jamal and yelling at him every time he was ridiculous I decided I would put my hand on his shoulder and ask him what was going on. Or give him a small moment of encouragement. Finally this week during computer class I had a break through. I let Jamal work on my computer and I sat next to him and he actually worked for an entire half an hour. I was so relieved and happy. It made me frustrated at myself that I hadn't been more compassionate before.  However, I am glad I finally had a break through. 

I forgot it was THANKSGIVING this week. No holiday away from home actually seems like a holiday. We did have a small celebration with our friend Alex on Wednesday night since Sarah had to work on Thursday. It was nice but really I was just wishing that I was home. There is no place like home for the holidays. 

Before I end I wanted to ask you all a favor. My cousin has recently adopted a small girl from China. Her name is Katie Grace and from the pictures I have seen she is just adorable!! She is having some medical problems with her lungs and heart and is in need of  many prayers. Here is a link to her blog: http://www.adoptionoverseas.blogspot.com/  

I beg you for prayers for this little girl. Please read her story and keep her in your thoughts. As my HIV patients always tell me - God can take me through anything. 

Have a safe and happy week. Please pray for a safe and honest election here on Monday. 

Love and prayers, 

Ashley Ann 

Elections!!

Hello,

Yesterday as I was at the hospital I ran into Sarah in the hallway and I asked her if it was her fault that the hospital was so much chaos and she turned to me and said "no, I was just coming to blame you". We both laughed and continued going about our massive amounts of work. Friday the hospital was absolutely packed there was not a single bed empty in Mercy Hospital. We also had a completely full day with patient after patient after patient. I think I finally ended up taking a twenty minute lunch around ohhh 2pm. I couldn't believe how there was just never a dull moment.

I enjoy the chaos of work sometimes because it keeps the day moving fast. After I finished work I had to go to the bus park to catch a bus to go home and I realized I was just going from one place of chaos to another. Yet - I use the word chaos in an endearing way, like as if the chaos because it is so constant really isn't chaos at all. Rather a well oiled machine that to someone who knows nothing about it looks like chaos, and it isn't until you fully understand the mechanics that you can understand and then begin to love the machine. I feel like that's a good way to describe the daily life in the heart of Georgetown. Yes it is crazy, madness, but beneath it all there is some system that works.

When I was at the bus park friday afternoon there was what I call a "Hobo circus". A few men who were apparently street dwellers had picked up some rope and metal rings. The proceeded to hang the rope between posts and try to walk across it, and then the did tricks jumping through the hoops. It was one of those things that you watch and laugh at and kind of makes every other thing that happened in your day seem not important. It was kind of a reminder that even though things are really tough there will always be something to make you smile.

Here is a picture of the market/bus park - although it really doesn't do it justice. This is just a very small part with not nearly as many people as normal. Plus it doesn't add in the factor of constant honking and shouting that is always present. :)

So anyway, At school this week my students started working on Microsoft PowerPoint and one of their assignments is to come up with a PowerPoint on any topic they choose. Many of them have decided to do it on themselves. One of my girls named Mohanie was writing about her best friend in her PowerPoint when she wrote: "And he is like a diary to me because I can leave all my secrets knowing that they are safe with him". I told her how much I liked what she wrote and asked her if I could share it. I felt like it was so insightful and well written and made me remember how much potential all my students have. We all have secrets that make us vulnerable to other people and she is describing such a beautiful relationship. A relationship of complete security. What a beautiful thing.

I said that I would put up some stuff about the upcoming elections on November 28th. I would first like to say I have no political views in Guyana and am simply putting up information that others might find interesting.

One of the major differences I have found is that there are Political signs EVERYWHERE. Maybe I forget what its like back home but there are major banners, billboards, and signs posted to every telephone and light post that you can see.

The party in office right now is the PPP/C the Peoples Progressive Party/Civic. If you click here you can see their facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/votepppc#!/votepppc?sk=info
If you would like to look at their official website it is here: http://www.ppp-civic.org/new/

 

This picture of the party rally was taken on Regent Street - the "main street" of Georgetown. It was during a parade on nomination day. All of the parties had a parade before officially declaring their candidates. (This is if memory serves me correctly) 

The two people I circled are the Current president on the Left and the running president on the right.




The next party is the APNU - A PARTNERSHIP FOR NATIONAL UNITY
Link: 
http://www.facebook.com/votepppc#!/pages/APNU-Guyana/195116613874257?sk=info

APNU is not a political party, but an association of political parties, Guyanese organisations and citizens that share a common desire to ensure a bright future for our country and citizens, guided by our Statement of Principles. The name, “A PARTNERSHIP FOR NATIONAL UNITY”, (APNU), and our symbol were carefully selected after a prolonged period of collaboration, consultation and discussion with ...the wider Guyanese society. The First word “A” emphasises the moving away from multiple interests into a cohesive unit, hence: A Partnership for National Unity. The term “Partnership” was preferred over other suggestions such as “Alliance”, “Coalition”, etc., to convey the idea of sharing: shared power and governance; shared dividends; shared responsibilities. “National” refers to the homeland Guyana. “Unity” is the launching pad for everything and one does not have to spell out reconstruction, reconciliation, development, etc.; Unity gives the level playing field, as does partnership, thus the removal of all barriers to everything else. The Symbol, “The Palm of the Hands”, reflect the importance of all partners: their hands and their fingers working together. The symbols on the palm of one hand identify the initial partners from JOPP offering to the people of Guyana, represented by the map of Guyana in the other hand, an opportunity to work together in a Government of National Unity for the benefit of all our citizens. The two palms of the hand remind us all that the future/destiny of Guyana lies, literally, in the palm of our, (Guyanese), hands.See More

To demonstrate our commitment to national unity and to fulfil the requirements of the Election Laws of Guyana, the members of A PARTNERSHIP FOR NATIONAL UNITY will contest the 2011 General and Regional Elections as a single united List of Candidates with: a common symbol; a consensus Presidential Candidate, Mr. David Arthur Granger; a single Representative and a single Deputy Representative of the List of Candidates; an agreed Electoral Platform; and, a unified campaign organisation and management. (Copy and pasted from their facebook page)

Their Offical Website:

http://www.apnuguyana.com/

This is the presidential candidate, David Granger, with some children.



The last major party that I see campaigning is the AFC. Alliance for Change.

http://www.facebook.com/votepppc#!/ChangeGuyana?sk=info

ALLIANCE FOR CHANGE
CHOOSE CHANGE IT'S TIME
AGENDA FOR CHANGE
We commit to -

... * Establishing a caring government where the suffering and the plight of the poor, the elderly in particular, youths, the issues of gender and Guyanese in general will be addressed in a timely manner.

* Creating a stable social and political environment where the rule of law is upheld to attract suitable local, regional and foreign direct investment for the creation of jobs, economic development, self reliance, wealth and the alleviation of poverty, consistent with the Millennium Development Goals.

* Dealing with the crime situation in the country in a holistic way and returning the country to a satisfactory level of security where our people could once again feel physically secure in their homes, places of work and recreation.

* Working towards the development of trust between government and the people, between local professionals and government; between the private sector and government; between investors and government; between all the ethnic groups in Guyana and government.

* Re-establishing a qualified and professionally competent public service and a National Insurance and Social Security Scheme that is relevant to the financial and economic realities of the Guyanese society.

* Restoring the principle of separation of powers, strengthening the three arms of the State by reforming the Parliamentary System, improving the standards of the judiciary as well as inculcating in government a culture of excellence and service to the people.

* Developing institutional arrangements for the mutually beneficial utilization of the expertise and financial means of the Diaspora.

* Conserving the natural heritage and the biodiversity of out country in accordance with the principles of sustainable development.

* Creating a system of education and moral guidance that will unlock the potential of our children in an environment of equal treatment and equal opportunity to give support to the family structure.

http://www.voteafc.com 

Information taken off of their offical Facebook page - which is linked above. 

I only have a few minutes before my time at the internet runs out - So I am cutting this a little bit short. But those are the three parties that are running for this election. 


I hope you all have a very blessed week. Keep positive and enjoy the weather for me!! Take care of yourself. 

All my love, 

Ashley Ann 

Who am I?

Hey there,


Walking down to the internet cafe` today in the 90+ degree heat with a scorching sun made me think of all my friends and family back home who are enjoying the snow in their lives right now. I can honestly say I really don't miss the snow at all! I thought when I first came to Guyana that I would miss the cold, but I have converted and now I know that there is nothing all that special about being cold all the time!!!

This past weekend we had the flu bug go through out house and Meg, Sarah and Audrey got a little sick. Luckily I was able to stay healthy - mostly by avoiding the house. :) Meg got sick the most and had to miss a couple days of work. Monday gone was another national holiday. I ended up going into work to finish connecting all of the computers to the internet so it didn't seem like a holiday to me. This was okay since we had just had a holiday the week before.

I would like to throw a shout out to my beautiful and great friend Anna. She left Georgetown on friday to head back to the UK. Anna and I have shared so much throughout the past year together and reflected as I was helping her pack on how much we have both changed and grown in the past year. Anna was always a great person to talk with and throw ideas at. She is honest and passionate about life. Anna is never shy to make me see both sides of everything and help me to be cautious if I am about to tread in dangerous waters. I will truly miss her and she will always have a special place in my heart.

This past week we had to submit stories for our Mercy Volunteer Corps connection and my roommate Sarah submitted one titled: "Who am I?". We were sitting in her room talking one night and we were both reflecting on how sometimes we do or say things and we wonder what the younger version of us would say. I feel like I am a completely different person than I was a year ago. Conversations with Anna, Audrey and Sarah all helped me to confirm this.

One example of this is we were cooking in the kitchen and someone told Sarah what to do. I immediately stopped them because back in the day I used to over correct Sarah because I thought I was always right. Sarah said to me: "Ohh, just like Ashley back in the day, when you used to think you were always right... you're not like that at all anymore". I then replied: "Yeah, in fact I think sometimes now I admit when I'm wrong a little too easy". I am able to see things from so many different perspectives and actually to be honest if I have become judgmental against anyone these days its against people who remind me of the old me. Oh what growth can do to ya - its not always perfect and you always have something to work on.

I have been able to see this for a while but it really hit me this past week when I realized I just don't stress nearly as much as I used to. I used to let things bother me and stress me out and now although I do still have stress and troubles it reflects in a much different way in my life.

The main example I have for this is a huge change in friends throughout the past couple of months. Before coming to Guyana I thought that there were people in my life who I couldn't live without. Now I realize that this isn't true at all. People will always be coming in and out of our lives and I have finally come to the conclusion that at the end we just need to be at peace with ourselves. There are people who literally try and suck the fun out of life. Focusing on the negative doesn't get us anywhere. If you have a beautiful tree in your yard but it has a bunch of dead branches you should probably cut them off. Yes at one point the branches had beautiful growth but if it has become dead weight and is a negative influence to the rest of the tree - cutting it off is most often the best option. Life is about continual change and growth and once we become comfortable with the natural changes in life I feel our stress level will decrease dramatically. Yes there are times when we have to fight for things but not everything is a battle sometimes its just a turn in the road in which you shouldn't look back.

Audrey and Sarah have been instrumental in helping me to realize this. We have had many different people come in and out of our lives the past 14 months but they are two people who are constant. Last night Audrey and I sat in my mosquito night and has a really good talk about life and it reminded me that we are always provided with what we need. Sometimes we think we know what we want and what we need - but God is giving us a present 1000 times greater but because we are too stubborn to even look at the new gift we focus on the old.


I guess this week I am kind of at a loss of what to share. Life this week was busy with classes, patients, and catching up on some good sleep. The elections are coming up here and that has lead to some really big campaigns and interesting tatics. Next week in my blog I will share more about what is going on with the election and all the interesting things about that. I guess I will end with a short reflection that I had to do for our Mercy Volunteer Corps Connections:


"I once heard a quote that said "statistics are humans with the tears wiped away". I often wonder how many times I looked at a statistic about HIV and didn't think twice about it. HIV's toll on the world is easy to overlook when we only see numbers. My life in Guyana has forever made me look at these numbers not simply as numbers but as faces, as tears, as stories that are unheard by so many people.

I sometimes think we lose connection with actual human beings because of technology and Guyana has firmly reminded me to focus on the human rather than the machine. No story over text message or email is even comparable to sitting down with someone and chatting. Because we have this distant mean of information sharing and communication we have the ability to change horrible statistics into a fact that evades our heart.

Take time to focus on someone who has become a statistic, a story untold, someone the world has forgotten. We might not be able to change the world, but we can change a life. Give validation to a individual and connect ourselves to another human being. For every HIV statistic there is a tear and face, don't ever forget that."

Stay sweet,

Ashley Ann

White Trash

Happy Belated Halloween!!!

I hope you all have had smooth transition into the month of November. In Guyana the date is written Day/Month/Year and I can tell you that November is always tricky writing /11/11 my dashes and ones get messed up, and well i've made a mess of some of the hospital paperwork already. haha : )

Last Monday we had a Halloween party for some of friends. It was just a laid back night where we all dressed up, had some cook up and channa, played games and some music. I've always liked coming up with creative/literal costumes for Halloween and this year I went as "white trash". I dressed up in a trash bag and made it into a shirt. I made a bunch of jewelery out of bottle caps and used aluminum foil. It was by far an interesting costume. There were people dressed up as zombies, Vybes Kartel, Sponge bob, Pirates, and anyone who didn't wear a costume had to put on one of our skirts over their clothes!! Three different men ended up wearing some pretty colorful skirts!! :)

There is a small cafe near our house and this week I ended up visiting it three times. On tuesday after work one of my friends showed up at my house and asked me what I was up to. I said nothing so they asked me if I wanted to go grab a coffee. We ended up chatting for quite some time and it made me thankful for the friendships that  I have developed here. Sometimes just being with someone can make everything better even though no solution is created. Wednesday night I once again went with a friend where I ended up having a quite interesting debate about the topic of abortion. The individual brought the topic up out of no where and to be honest at the end of the conversation I felt like we had gotten no where. I firmly believe that if you are going to have a discussion on such a hot item - you need to listen to the other persons opinion. Sometimes I think we forget that just because we listen to someone else doesn't mean we need to believe what they tell us. My last trip to the coffee shop was with two girls and we just sat around and relaxed after both having a stressful day at work. Wandering conversations can be healing for the soul.

At work this week we had a small test in my class. I have always told my students how they don't need to be able to read or write well to do well on my tests - but they just need to pay attention and try hard. One of the classes in particular had test scores that shocked me. The students who are normally the most low preforming and have a very low reading level ended up getting some of the highest grades in my class. The students who have little problem reading and writing ended up getting scores WAY below satisfaction. It made me realize that sometimes when you think you are good at something you don't put the effort in. I was so proud of my few students who I knew had actually paid attention, asked questions, and really made the effort to do well. Never underestimate the ability of your students. They have taught me they all have great capabilities its just that they need the information presented to them so that they are able to grasp it.


The month of November is always a great month to take time to find things that we are thankful for. I guess the first set of Thanks this month that I would like to share is being thankful for having a purpose in my life right now. Even as I worked at the hospital this week I just felt good to be what I was doing. I am sure I could come up with a million little stories each week of why I love what I am doing. To have patients look forward to seeing you again or even just to make someone smile makes each day at work something to look forward to. Also of course my students. I had them help me do an ultra cleaning of my computer room this week and I didn't even have to try that hard to convince them. They may have done more talking than cleaning but I can tell they just enjoy being around and being able to have someone listen to them.

Well anyway, I have had a crazy busy week when it comes to work and socializing and even as I write this I have a few more things to get done.

Love and prayers,

Ashley

Good Wins

Hello Everyone!

This week has been a wonderful week because once again we had a holiday! Diwali!! Also, Sarah's parents came in last weekend and it was wonderful to have them around. Sarah's mother always gave us so many hugs and it was like having a real "mama's" hug as she called them. They brought us some wonderful treats from home and it seemed like it was a mini Christmas full of candy!!! It was a blessing to have a small reminder of life from back home and its always good to be reminded of home!!

On Saturday night Audrey, Meg and I went out to the national cultural center to see a dance show. The cultural center has a dress code so we all had to dress up! I enjoyed the dance show and the performers were really good. It was the national dance troop and its associates.

Work this week was easy and simple because we had a day off in the middle of the week. My favorite work story of the week comes from Thursday morning. I was walking to work and as I went to cross the street a motorcycle went to pass the bus at a rapid pace and I didn't see it because it was passing illegally and I had already looked once. All of a sudden I hear someone yell miss. I stopped and the bike just missed me. When I got to school I told one of my students the story and he said: "See miss, God be with ya, See, Good thing I pray for ya every morning". It made me smile. My students bring me so much joy and truth.

Diwali is the Hindu holiday celebrating the religious new year and also the celebration of light: Triumph of good over evil. The night before Diwali there is a motorcade along the sea wall and we went to Sarah's parents hotel to watch it from the veranda. We had a decent view and we didn't had to be in the middle of the chaotic crowd... I had already done it the year before! It was a good night just to relax, see the floats, and enjoy getting to know Sarah's parents a little bit more.

On Diwali day we spent most of the day with orphanage boys. At first the church next door had their church fair which we took them too, and after that one of the supermarkets in town had a party for all of the orphanages in town and we went with to help take care of the boys. It was a great day. I brought along my new camera and tried out some of the new features with the boys when we had free time at the orphanage between activities. :) I got some Amazing pictures... Also we went out that night with our friend Ryan, he brought us by some of his friends who feed us Seven curry - my favorite - and then "Sweet meats" which are not meats at all, but rather sugary treats!!

Wendell showing off his shoes after he asked me to put them on for him.... He is my baby!! :)

Audrey helping Sanjay put his shirt on right!

My make shift belt for Sanjay that was 2 sizes too big. :) Gotta be creative when you don't have much to work with!

Boys at the church fair

Wendell 

Lenny, Showing off for the Camera :) 

Adrian and I 

Boys being silly!

My new favorite picture!

Wendell tired at the party... 

a Diya which is lit on Diwali night in front of the houses

SEVEN CURRY, Ryan, Meg and Audrey

SEVEN CURRY - I love Hindu holidays!!

Megs first batch of seven curry

A house lit up with Diyas

Well I hope you enjoyed the pictures this week. And remember the meaning of Diwali - Good triumphs over Evil. Even though we may be in the midst of the battle, ultimately good wins.

Love,

Ashley Ann

What kind of Sandals are you wearing?

Hello Everyone!

Once again another week has flown by and I feel like it was just yesterday that I was writing my blog. Days seem to be moving faster and faster. I keep hearing how weather back state side is getting colder and colder and its really hard for me to imagine right now. This week it was rainy for both thursday and friday and we felt like we were in our own little "cold spell". All four of us felt cold on friday and sat around the house with long sleeve shrits on... However, I am sure it was nothing compare to the cold that has hit the states.

Last Sunday was one of my favorite days I have had in a long time. I went out to my friend Andrew's house with my friend Venus and met a few other people out there. We ended up spending the entire day cooking and relaxing. When we finished cooking we watched Big Bang Theory which I have to say is one of my favorite shows now. I think it is absolutely hilarious. Maybe part of the reason I find it so hilarious is because I know a couple people who vaguely remind me of Sheldon, a man with almost no social skills, and I can't help but laugh whenever he says something ridiculous. Sunday night we went out to the sea wall and relaxed. It wasn't anything special but it was just all together a very relaxing sunday, helped me to get ready for the week ahead.

School this week went pretty well. I am always surprised at how the students behave depending on the week - the class last week that had no attention span and no energy acted as angels and the class that is normally angels decided to be completely distracted and lost through out the entire hour. I have learned that predicting the behavior of my students is impossible so I just take things one day at a time.

Life at the hospital was as expected this week. We had a steady week with no extremely busy moments, yet very few completely dead moments. The hospital is under construction and I am completely sick of the noise that is going on there. It is always so loud and I can't wait for it to stop. However - the construction will be going on for a LONG time so I guess I just have to get used to it.

This week I've been reminded to focus on the good that people bring into your life. One of my co-workers Terese always brings a smile to my face. On Friday I gave away my lunch to someone who forgot to bring their lunch to work and asked her to buy something for me when she went out on the road. When she came back she brought me an AMAZING and FREE lunch. It was from a restaurant that I had never been to before and the food was out of this world! She even brought me a coke which just made my day. I know that this sounds really small - but sometimes when you have a really long week even the small things in life can just make a REALLY huge difference.

On Wednesday this week I got off of work about a half an hour early because I had to run some errands related to our visa's before different offices opened. I ended up getting a free ride from my co-workers friend so the extra time I took off was not needed. When I realized I had some extra time I decided to stop by a church that one of my past students now works at. When I went to go find him we had a really good discussion. He is doing well and is actually now in charge of his own "parish" in an area about an hour away from Georgetown. He asked me if I wanted to stay for the prayer service which was starting in a few minutes but I kept giving a reason for why I couldn't stay. He had to leave town so he didn't pressure me too hard because he wasn't going to be there anyway. On my way out another pastor kept talking to me and trying to convince me to stay. I have a really difficult time saying no (something I inherited from my mother) and ended up going to the prayer meeting.

Now I've always had non denominational friends before but never have I been to a prayer service like this. There was a lot of loud praying and yelling and at first I was completely freaked out. I was doubtful that God was hearing any of this as I thought it was all crazy. After a while we sat down and they handed out a bible story and their interpretation of it. It was the bible story of when Moses is on Mount Sinai. The scripture that they looked at was: "God called to him from within the bush, "moses moses!" and moses said, "here I am." Do not come any closer, God said. Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." (Exodus 3:2-4)

They then went on to talk about if the sandals didn't have negative influence then God wouldn't ask Moses to take them off. The sandals represented the doubts that Moses had in his life. In order to fully approach God Moses had to remove all doubts that he had and come to God without any reservation. This really made me think about my own life and what kind of sandals I am wearing on my feet. What am I doubting that is keeping me from a full complete relationship with God. I wrote in my last blog how I have a hard time being sure that heaven exists and that is a perfect example of a doubt that I walk around with. Like our shoes, our doubts become a part of us that our entire self rests on. I doubted that I would get anything from this prayer session and yet I still found something, how much easier would it have been if they didn't have to practically drag me into the church. How much better would it have been if the doubts didn't have my judging the validity of the prayers being offered at that very time.

One last line that really hit me from the sheet they gave me went: "I believe that those who have not conquered what they are fighting to conquer, due to the faith they claim to have in God, Surely, have not yet removed the sandals (doubts) from their feet. Due to this they have not yet placed all their strength {in God}." This hit me really hard. Sometimes I want God to have control of my life but I don't want to give Him all of myself - I give him a piece here, a piece there but there are major things in my life where I say to God: "Don't worry I got this one...". What am I thinking?!?! I don't have the right answer yet instead of removing the doubt I have that God won't bring me happiness and peace - I cling to my own strength and often fall.

What sandals are you wearing that is keeping you from approaching God fully?

Moses removed his sandals and God sent him to Pharaoh to bring his people out of Egypt. It was difficult, it was hard and I am sure there were many times where Moses sandals again got in the way of God... but in the end Moses brought the Israelites out of Pharaoh's reign and this journey could have never began had Moses not first removed his sandals.

May you all have a blessed week! Prayers and love being sent your way!

Always,

Ashley Ann

Love = Mangos and Bananas

Hello Friends and Family,

Last friday I ended up spending an hour of my time at the main branch of the post office here in Georgetown. Now, that sounds like a long time - but the truth of the matter is if you have a package waiting for you one hour could be considered a blessing. I know some people who have had a 2+ hour journey. I got two packages one from Kelsey which was a beautiful bracelet and a mystery box from my Auntie Deb.

As I was watching this box I was wondering what could possibly be inside. Although I really wanted to open it I decided it would be better and safer to wait until I got all the way home before I busted open the box. When I got home I was pretty excited about everything that was inside - but one thing that really sparked my interest was the book: Heaven is for real. I was interested into what the book would be about but by that time I already had to run off to work. I had a long but good day at work and was excited to come home and read the book. I ended up sitting down at four pm and didn't move until six pm when I had finished the book. It really hit me hard and God must have inspired my aunt to buy just the right book because it was just what I needed.

Although it is typical for me to get completely absorbed in a book I just couldn't put this book down. It wasn't even close to the best book i've ever read - but it was the best book that I could have read at that time. It is about a little boy who has an experience of heaven. I don't have enough confidence in the fact that heaven actually exists. I think of heaven as a place that I hope exists but my hope is terribly week. To hear a young boy be so confident in heaven was inspiring and made me realize that I have so much to learn in life.


One of my favorite parts of the book is when the young boys talks about how Jesus emphasized how much he loves little children. I kept thinking about that yesterday after work because I went up to play with the orphanage boys for an hour or so after work. I was sitting on the edge of the play field just kind of watching them and I ended up being some type of "safe zone" for the nursery boys who were playing tag. They would start running towards me and jump into my arms so other boys couldn't tag them. They are all so affectionate when they want to be. At one point one of the little boys was laying in the field crying - now this sometimes happens and in two seconds they are running around again fine, so I gave it a couple of seconds before I started to move. Then I thought :"What ever you do to the least of my people you have done unto Me". I went and picked Jr. up and asked him what was wrong. Of course he didn't respond but just clung to me for dear life. After a while he told me what was wrong and a little bit later he felt better so I tickled him to get him smiling and then set him down to go and continue playing. The book reminded me of the simple truth of how much God loves the little children - yet so many people in the world don't share that same deep love.

The week for the whole was pretty typical. We had school sports on thursday but I stayed at the school to teach the students who were to stay behind. In the end it wasn't so much teaching as supervised free time because I had so few students.

Yesterday I was at the hospital and I ended up having a lot of interesting characters. The first one was talking to me about how God is going to cure her from her HIV. She then said but if he doesn't - I still am faithful that everything is for a reason, and He is the source of all my good. Even if you think she is crazy for her beliefs I give her credit for her passion. Either be hot or be cold - do not be lukewarm.

Another woman came in not to long after her wanting an HIV test. After I began explaining to her what HIV was she ended up laughing and telling me how she hadn't had sex in over 20 years and was almost 80. She didn't know it was an STD. Before she left she handed me a pamphlet to look at about her religious organization and I asked if I could keep it when she said to me: "Of course you can keep it: You show people the path of God and you will be blessed." I thanked her as she exited my office and thought to myself: "Wow Ashley, you have a lot of lessons to learn on faithfulness".

At the end of the day at the orphanage yesterday one of the boys Ramario asked me for my rings. And this is how the conversation went -
Ramario: "Miss pwease for one ov ur rings"
Me: "No Ramario, sorry they are mine"
Ramario: "Pweare for your ears ings."
Me: "No Ramario sorry all I have to give you is my love"
Ramario: "Ahhh...." (Sad face)

I started to laugh on the inside because I thought to myself: In my life God is me and I am Ramario. Always asking for shiny things and not being satisfied at all by love. These boys are always teaching me lessons.

One more funny dialog from my week:

Me: "Bye boys"
Wendell comes running and jumps into my arms for a hug
Me: "Bye Wendell, wheres my kiss?"
Wendell kisses me then smiles at me
Me: "You know I love you Wendell"
Wendell: "Please bring me a sweetie"
Me: "You think love means sweeties?"
Wendell thinks hard then says:
"Well, then please bring me a banana" .... "Or a mango"

Haha!!!!  I laughed the whole way out. These boys really do bring joy into my life.

Wishing you all the best. Love and Prayers,

Ashley Ann

Whats with all the noise?!?!

Hello Everyone!!

I guess that I need to start my blog with an apology that I had been kind of slack at my once a week post always before Sunday - I was scolded recently, so I promise to try and do better! :) 

I sometimes wonder how life always goes by so quickly, I feel like it was just yesterday that I sat down to write my last blog and I realize that a whole week has actually gone by. This week was a really good week. Last weekend was a lot of fun. Saturday morning I was just hanging around my house wondering what I was going to do for the day when my friend Andrew ended up outside of my house. We ended up hanging out for the entire afternoon, joined up with some other friends, and eventually went to a party that night for one of our friends Marcia. I had kind of been sulky that morning for several different reasons and having someone come by just to see how I was doing and what I was up to made a ton of difference in my attitude. It was a big reminder for me on how important it is to find joy relying on and enjoying the company of other people. 

Sunday I went to Guy-expo again. I ended up walking around with a student from last year and we had a good time just window shopping. I am not a big fan of big craft type fairs like that because I get distracted really easily, but in the end it was still a good time. I was glad to reconnect with her and just catch up on how her life was going. She now has a job at a day care which she seems to enjoy and it brought some re-affirmation that the work we are doing does have fruit in getting these students a job!!

This week at the hospital was VERY LOUD. They have started to do construction on the floor above my office and all week we heard jackhammers and saws. On Wednesday I had to leave my office a few times and go to a different part of the hospital just to keep my sanity. It was hard to do my job when I had to talk over a jackhammer. I am hoping by monday they will be done with all the very loud work. 

On Wednesday I had an appointment set up with a patient at 7:45 am, they ended up coming to the hospital at 3:45 pm as I was on my way out of the compound. I thought about it for a second and ended up going back and talking with her. It was a really complicated story which kept her back from the clinic and in the end I thought to myself - whether you have an excuse or not I'm going to come and finish this education thing with you so might as well just spare yourself the stress of explaining the entire story. Gotta give people grace sometimes...

Today we had school sports for Mercy Wings. It was really good because I basically just got to stand around and take pictures of the students. I always enjoy school sports day because its like a day of work, but its also kind of like a day off. I got to watch them run, eat good food for free, and interact with a lot of different people. I hope to post up some pictures of my students running sometime soon. This year we had a couple of good athletes but nothing compared to the year before. Although we didn't have the high achievement we did still have a great time. I would have to say that they all had really great attitudes and laughed at almost everything which made the day have very little stress. 

Anyway, I came here after being at sports day and I am just exhausted from the sun. I kept putting on tons and tons of sunscreen, drinking water, but no matter what this tropical sun always take the energy out of you. 

I feel like this quote describes a lot of what I have been thinking this week. A lot of the struggles I see around me and a lot of the injustice that is faced is because people are being used as objects rather than being treated with their full dignity. We forget the worth of each other and treat people the same way we treat objects without emotions or a soul. The very first lecture I gave to my students in my computer class was about how even though learning about computers and how they are used is good - computers and technology can never replace real people. A friend on facebook is not even comparable to a friendship based on face to face communication. 

Enjoy the fall colors for me - I sure am missing the leaves and how they are changing. 

Love, 

Ashley Ann

Who wouldda thunk?!

Dear Friends and Family,

It's been a while since I last wrote because I have been busy writing my one year blog and now I forget what has happened in my life!!!

I guess that the past few weeks have been testing the waters with my new students at Mercy Wings. I always get the impression that they are sweet and kind but I know that soon enough they will start to show their true colors and that really has begun to happen. This year I realized how important it is for me to start off teaching with a disciplined classroom. The boys now understand that I really mean business and that they shouldn't mess around in my class or they get no liberty. I sometimes wonder where I learned all of this confidence that I have. The other day a student got right in my face and I didn't back down at all and then I let him know his place and I haven't had a hard time with him since. As soon as all the boys left the room I couldn't help but laugh because I felt like a completely different person.

On monday afternoon I went to help in the ADP (Adolescent development program) room and there is a new teacher there. The boys were all acting out of line and I got up in front of class once she signaled for me and I asked them all if that was how they behaved in my class - immediately they all began to tell each other to shut up and sit up right. I almost cracked because I never thought I would hold any sort of authority. It really is true... fake it til you make it. A year ago I was the lost teacher with a room full of crazy students and now I am the teacher getting them under control... who woulda thunk.

Work at the hospital has been especially good. I have a recently new workmate Terese who has brought a lot of joy into my life. With her around the office there just seems to be an extra added level of peace. Also she is around my age which means sometimes when I am trying to escape typical office drama I can go find her and we can sit in our little filing corner and talk about mindless things like twitter, boys, and good food! :) Terese left back some of her AMAZING lunch for me today and I was very grateful for that. The small things in life really are big.

I also have had some really great interaction with patients lately. I feel like because I have been here for so long I have some great interactions with individuals that I have seen multiple times. Since I have changed my working days to friday at hospital and monday at the school I also find I am seeing patients I have never seen before because they only come on fridays. It has been a great mix of new and old. I always get so much joy when I see a patient who has a low CD4 count like 84 jump up to a CD4 count of 300 or even more. Just the other day I saw one of my favorite patients jump from 230 something to 580 something. I was so happy to see. Sometimes its hard to remember that these drugs that I talk about all the time actually save life and this week I have been very much reminded of that. God is good. Here in Guyana people talk about faith a lot more openly than in the States and I often find my patients telling me that God alone gets them through the day. Just today a patient said to me: "I don't know about you, but God is the only reason I wake up in the morning somedays". I thought to myself - hmm - I can ALWAYS learn from someone else.

Recently I've found some amazing websites with some really great quotes... I am leaving a few here that really seem to describe my life here. I hope you are all doing well. Please pray for me as I pray for you.

Love always,
Ashley Ann

One Year in Guyana

Dear Family and Friends,

I can't believe that I have been in Guyana for over a year. I decided that it would be good for me to reflect back on the past year because one year really is a huge milestone. A year of my life has been spent outside of the USA and I feel as if it has only been a few months. I have decided to do a small monthly overview of life here and then just some general reflection on how I have changed in the past year. I posted a blog six months ago that was six months in Guyana - and yes, it is the same first six months, so forgive me if you have read it already :)!



September

(Picture - Us in the New York Airport... our Last photo in the US... we look terrible!!! )

September was a crazy month for me. I left my friends and family back home to a place where I was unsure of everything. I was embracing on a new beginning. I began my journey by meeting plenty of people who are now a very active part of my life, and also by meeting the mosquitoes who have also never left me. I reminded myself as I left the states that I was not alone, God has always been in Guyana I am just going to do His work there, and it was nothing new to Him.

I began my job as a care for the elderly teacher. I was amazed at the low levels of my students. They really fit the definition of the uneducated. I found students who would make me laugh and cry. Some students gave me so much hope by their attempt to become a better person.

I also began my one day a week job as an HIV counselor at Saint Joesph Mercy Hospital where I would learn to love the marginalized of the world.

I learned how to navigate the market and take the mini buses.

I also learned that Audrey Sarah and I would laugh and laugh a lot. We went out for the first time to a place called Jerrie's and began our adventure of our social life here.

(Picture - The Sisters of Mercy in Guyana + two Candidates)

(Picture - Our first spirituality night... Creating a prayer wall of our friends and family back home)


October

One of my students has a small child and one of my best memories from October was holding the child and walking around with the student. The small things in life can sometimes be big things.

I learned that I can wear jeans at 90 degrees and that I love life in the big city.

I took a trip out with the girls to a local festival called "Guy-expo" where we had our first experience with El Dorado rum! It was a great day.

I learned that church festivals here are full of games, good food, and LOUD music.
(picture - Me and one of the Orphanage boys)

I was reminded by a friend back home that friendships can still grow despite the distance. He shared with me his experience of counseling back home and I was able to relate with my experience here when he said: "I have been given the opportunity to love deeply and that love is life to me. I think we are united in that reality".
He was completely correct in saying that. We are all united when we love.

November

I spent a couple of Fridays with two of the older sisters, Sister Celine Marie, and Sister Noel. We would go to church together and then over to their house for dinner. They gave me an interesting perspective on Guyana and how it has changed over the years. They gave me strength and grandmotherly attention when I needed it the most, they are a great part of my life here.

I met my British friend Anna who has played such a great part in my life. She and I have great conversations and she can always put insight into my life. I am glad we have developed a great friendship.

I learned that my students not only respect me but that they also have a great protection for me. I learned that all the work I had put in during the previous months had paid off by their shown respect. I have learned to get respect you must first give respect.

I had a five minute conversation with my Uncle Warren and he reminded me that I was and am always fighting for something - whether it was back home or here... this helped me to realize that its okay - I still am the same person even on a different continent.

Diwali or the Hindu celebration of lights happened. It was a great and wonderful parade full of hundreds to thousands of what we would call Christmas lights.

(Learning how to make Pine Tarts from our Friend and Sisters of Mercy Candidate Joanna)

(Sarah and I at the beach)

December

We had our first retreat at Splashman's resort. I wish that I could say it was a great time but I spent most of it sick in bed.

I went to a carol concert at the Cathedral which helped me to remember the Christmas spirit even without all of the snow!

I learned that Mass at 5 in the morning can be difficult, but when its a Novena you just push through. I made it every day for nine days and one of the sisters even bought us chocolate at the end!!

I learned that Georgetown is CHAOS around Christmas time and that if you want to go shopping you better bring a shield with you to make it through the crowd.

(At the Christmas fair by the Orphanage... Me and two of the beautiful boys...!!)

I learned Christmas is not about the presents or the commercialism. Rather it is about loving - I learned to love three little boys who have now forever changed my life. They are sweet and beautiful boys who I could never forget. I also ate rice on Christmas day.

(Ms. Yvonne Nelson and myself at the Mercy Wings Staff Party - She teaches Catering)

(Me face painting at a children Christmas party!! My specialty was butterflies, hearts and stars!! HA!)

January

Lisa came to make her sight visit which was a good break from the normal routine in life. My schedule changed so I was working two days at Saint Joesph Mercy Hospital as an HIV counselor and three days at the school as a teacher. I love both of my jobs and find my joy in them. I have learned to love people from all backgrounds and this is something I am unbelievably thankful for.

I had a great celebration into the New Year with friends! It made me look forward to the upcoming year and that it would have to offer. I even got to see some fireworks, which may or may not have made me jump! :)

I learned that my family from back home is a rock in which I lean on. They sent me so many wonderful and generous Christmas cards that I could never forget the love that I felt when I recieved them. (And they are always welcome to send more!!)

I celebrated the Feast of St. John Bosco with all the boys at the Orphanage. We shared ice cream and laughed all night. I learned how much I had grown to love the boys in the few months I have been here. They bring a smile to my face each time I see them. I don't think I could ever leave the Orphanage without some positive experience each time I go there.

(Some US short term volunteers came to Guyana and we entertained them... We were playing dominos, something we do often here!!)

February

Mercy Wings had their 11th Anniversary and I was able to take part in the Church service and lunch afterward. It was a good day and Father Edwin the priest who gave a talk helped me to remember to look at the light even among darkness. He told us all that their is always hope and we can never give up on that.

(My girls in the Computer room!)

I took stickers to the boys for Valentines day and I learned that there is nothing better than have 20 little boys for a Valentine.

Masharmani, Republic Day, was a great celebration had by all. (Equivalent to our Fourth of July) We watched a parade, we danced a little and we stayed out late enjoying the celebration of the nation! I even went to the Mash celebration during the weekend in one of the outer districts (Berbeice). It was a much smaller celebration but fun was still had by all. I learned that the Guyanese really do know how to celebrate well!!

March

Phagwah the holiday where one can walk around the street and see people with powdered dye covering their whole body. My Phagwah day started out wonderfully because Sarah and Audrey went to a church service later than mine and when they came home I heard them say: "No one Phagwahs before 12 eh?" (Which is what I had hear the night before) As they walked up the stairs I could see the dye smeared across their face. I laughed so hard! We spent the day running around getting glitter and dye all over ourselves and our friends. It was one of the highlights of Guyana.

Other than that we had our annual Lenten retreat. I really learned at this retreat just how much I appreciate Audrey and Sarah. As a community we laughed together and we grew together. I will never forget the three hour walk I took with them on the Seawall during that retreat. I felt fully accepted and completely loved by two other very wonderful people.

April

First of all April was an awesome month because it began with Audrey’s birthday. We all had a really great time going out for her birthday and dancing the night away. Let me tell you Audrey really knows how to move!

Easter here was a really good experience. On Easter Monday everyone goes out to the sea wall and fly kites. We also went out with the boys to fly kites which was also really great. I really enjoyed spending Easter here. It was really laid back but at the same time good. There was no Easter Bunny - but there were plenty of kites.

My favorite Audrey Picture

Watching the Kites together...

Audrey’s family also came in April which was a big blessing to have visitors from the states. I was really encouraged by the fact that Audrey’s family seemed to care so much about Sarah and I and it gave me a second wind.

There was a mini bus strike in April for a couple of days which made getting to work interesting and made me appreciate the drivers and conductors for all they do.

In April we took another creek trip – I thought I would post Audrey’s reflection from her one year news letter of her experiences at the creek:

“Sunday creek trips are definitely part of the Guyanese experience, and they are always an adventure.  Ashley befriended one of her student's families around Christmastime and we have all become good friends since then.  The mom's name is Aunty Vanni and she has 2 sons, a daughter, and an adopted nephew who are all around our age.  So whenever they plan a creek trip, they always invite us now! 

A typical creek day starts with a departure time of 11am.  We arrive at Vanni's house around 11 where they are still in the process of cooking all of the food for the day (a giant tub of rice, roti, curry, cook-up, etc.)  Around noon, the minibus arrives.  At 12:30 we start loading into the bus, and around 1:30 everyone has finally arrived and squeezed into the bus.  We speed out of town, usually making at least 1 or 2 stops along the way for various people and/or items.  After a 45 minute drive, we finally arrive at the creek!  The rest of the day is filled with eating, swimming, soccer, listening to music, dancing, and liming (hanging out).  The guys usually entertain themselves for at least 2 hours by running and jumping/diving into the water, one right after the other in a continuous line.  I think the fact that they almost land on each other every time is why they think its so much fun!

FYI, the water in the creeks is called "black water."  This is because dead leaves from the rainforest trees drop into the creek and leach tannins into the water, which make it look exactly like iced tea.  When the water is smooth, it has a perfectly clear reflection in it of the sky, clouds, and trees because it's so dark.”

May 

Another excerpt from Audrey begins May:

“At the beginning of May we had a little mishap at our house (there's always something going on!)...  there's a busy highway right outside our house with a sharp curve in it, and a police jeep was coming around the curve too fast, lost control, ran through our front gate, and rammed into the side of the house downstairs, right beneath my bed.  So at 7am as I was enjoying a nice sleep, I was jolted out of my slumber by the sound of squeeling tires, the shattering of glass, the shaking of the house, and the smell of gasoline.  Needless to say I was pretty freaked out and ran outside to see what had happen.  Luckily nobody was hurt.  After this, 2 hours of ridiculousness ensued in which a total of about 20 police officers were all pointlessly sitting around in front of our house doing nothing... no wonder the police are never available when you actually need them!  A picture of our house was on the front page of the paper the next day though which was exciting.  The police officer that was driving claimed that a dog ran into the road and he had swerved to miss it, but I had plenty of people tell me that he had to have been speeding and was probably drunk.  Who knows...”

Other than this craziness our director Lisa came back into country and we had our transition retreat. It was good to reflect on being gone for so long and start to begin to get ready for a second year in Guyana. 

Henrietta a friend of mine left in May. I was so glad to have met Hen and she made my days in Guyana very bright. Her now fiance is working here with ODI (overseas development international, i believe) and she came to be with him. She helped to volunteer at the orphanage and the boys all loved her sooo much. I know Audrey was glad to have her helping out! Hen is always a person who you can be completely honest with, no judgements. I miss her. 

My birthday and family coming to Guyana were both at the end of May and I want you to know it was one of the BEST experiences I have yet to have. It was great to see my sister interacting with my friends and co-workers and then have the rest of my family join a week later! I was glad to share my life here with my family. I can now say that I really do miss them very much and as everyone in Guyana keeps telling me I must be really loved to have people come all the way from the states to visit me!! I have an entire blog post full of our adventures if you like to read in deatil. (Click me for family adventures!) We hung out, went to my jobs, went adventuring in the jungle, saw the largest single drop waterfall in the world and had many good meals and laughs!

June

One of my highlights from June was that I took a day and cooked for my friends. I have a family as Audrey mentioned above that I spend quite a bit of time with and instead of me going over to them empty handed I ended up making some good Italian food and bringing it to them. The day was spent eating, sitting, talking and napping. It’s the small things for me in Guyana that have the biggest memories.

I would also like to say that June was Sarah’s birthday and once again we had a great time. We never cease to enjoy going out together. Sarah came home from work and said she was too tired and that we were just going to chill at home... but after some bread and a rum and coke Sarah decided we needed to celebrate! No objections here!

 The only major thing that happened was our school took a field trip to a prison. Its amazing how much compassion I found having a heart to heart with someone who was convicted of murder. It reminded me that forgiveness and compassion are really a gift and a skill that we must constantly be working on. Going to the prison really helped my students to see that there are real consequences for their actions and that freedom is the most important thing we all have.


July

 In July Mercy wings closed and all of my beloved students graduated. It was a rush of emotions for me having been with them for the entire year. They made so many changes and I felt like they were different people from the beginning to the end. I know that at least I was a different person than the person who had entered the gate in September. Graduation was bittersweet, I was glad to see them all move on but at the same time I was sad because they had become so much a part of me and my experience here. 

Another thing that happened is one my friends was in an accident which really changed my perspective on life here in Guyana. Life is short and we can never forget that. 

Audrey, Ashley and Ryan

I started to teach a computer class with Audrey and a new volunteer Ryan who was here for six weeks. We taught from 9-12 and the other days of the week I worked at the hospital.  Teaching kids in the summer was a nice new break from the teens. I do miss teaching small children. 

August 

And finally August... One of my highlights was that Audrey and I went to a Mavado concert. Mavado is a Jamaican artist and his music is very popular here. It wasn't so much the concert but at the end of the concert Audrey and I were talking about how we felt very comfortable with everything going on. I guess a year ago being in a large crowd with music and all the newness would have driven me crazy and the concert made me realize how adapated I really have become. 

We celebrated one year in Guyana by going out to a Brazilian restaurant that left us all stuffed and happy. Sarah had friends come to visit. 

The best two parts about August was I took two different trips. The first trip was to Santa Rosa which is an Amerindian Mission where one of my co-workers lives. I went with three other ex-pats. I actually had a lot of fun just getting away and seeing the beautiful landscape.  

Coconut at Santa Rosa

Look Mom, I can use a Machete!

And finally I had one of the best experiences I have ever had in Guyana at a Hindu Wedding. One of my students Naameshawari invited me to black bush for her sisters wedding. I will remember this weekend for the rest of my life and I will always be grateful for how life changing this experience was. Her family was warm, welcoming, and made me feel so much like at home. (Except we didn't have electricity, just a generator, and no running water...maybe that's the point home doesn't need to be extravagant!)  I could go on for a long time but you can read more about my experience here: (Hindu Wedding) 

General Reflections 

Faith: 

I have learned so much when it comes to living out my faith life. I have had to learn how to make each and every action of my day a prayer. So many times by the end of the day I am just exhausted and fall to sleep before I even think about praying. After a while I realized I could be waiting to pray at the end of the day but look at how God is speaking to me at each moment. To say a silent prayer while talking with a student or just to know that God is there when I am playing with the boys. I feel very much that I am walking with God during this journey and I feel at complete peace that I am where I am meant to be. I very much enjoy the masses in Guyana and have found myself fond of the music. I am going to miss the songs that are only popular here when it is time to go back. One of my favorite lines that has been a constant prayer in my head through my time here goes: "I forgive you, I love you, You are mine, Take My hand, Go in peace, sin no more, Beloved one". I often feel like God is speaking that to me while I am here. So often I mess up and do the wrong thing, but here I have learned that its okay - God loves me. For some people knowing God loves them is natural - for me this is difficult as I have always been a rules person and more focus on right and wrong rather than love. Guyana has helped me to focus on accepting the Love of God.

Personal Growth:

I think if there is one way that I have grown in Guyana more than any others it is that I have learned to stop stressing over the small things in life. I used to get worked up over all the small things and now I realize that doing that is just going to make me old fast. I am comfortable with exactly who I am. Yes there are things wrong with me and I always need to grow, but if I continue to look at everything and get worked up about it then I am wasting time. Things will change as I work on them - so why beat yourself up. I've also learned that its not the scars in your life that make you different from other people its the gifts that you have to offer the world that make you unique. I used to focus too much on the negative when now I realize life is too short. One ounce of happiness is worth a thousand pounds of sadness when serving God. Its impossible to always be happy - but its when we continually choose to be sad and focus on the negative because its whats comfortable that we get out of control. I get frustrated and sad just like a normal person but I now realize that the struggles are not something I should identify with, rather I should identify with the fact that I am strong enough to overcome the obstacles that are thrown my way. :)


Community: 

Sarah and Audrey have by FAR been one of the greatest blessing I have received in the past year. They are always there for me and I love them dearly.  They work to understand and grow with me. I feel that Audrey put our community very well in her one year letter and once again I am going to copy from her:

" Community living has continued to go wonderfully!  Sarah, Ashley, and I have officially made it one year without having a fight!  Amazing, right?  Although we do tend to get along pretty well, it still takes time and energy to make sure things work out as well as they have.  Honestly, Ashley and I are complete opposites, and when we first met we thought we were going to hate each other.  But through community living, I've learned that it's possible to live with and even love your complete opposite-- you just need to have faith, patience, and understanding with each other at all times.  I really think this is what has enabled us to get along so well and form such strong bonds with one another.  Living in community has also taught me when to have control and when to let go and let someone else have the control.  So maybe Ashley doesn't cook spaghetti the way I normally would or Sarah doesn't do the dishes my way, but really, these things aren't worth getting worked up about... you just have to let it go.  Ashley and I taught computers together this summer, and our ability to sit on the sideline and let each other take control at different times during the course is really what enabled us to survive teaching together for 5 weeks."

"You've got troubles, I've got 'em too. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. We'll stick together to see it through cause you've got a friend in me."
- Randy Newman


General Feelings: 

I feel at home in Guyana. Its hard to believe sometimes that things are different here than they are back home. I was picturing my house back home the other day and I thought to myself: "Wait... there are no bars on my bedroom window back home". I feel like in my mind the two worlds get collided a little bit. The other day I had the opportunity to take a hot shower. As I was in the shower I had to wash my face and I got quite distraught because it was too hot. I realized then it was luke warm at best and just turned it completely to cold. Its going to be an adjustment back. When I walk down the streets I see people I know often and I always feel like I am running into someone. People here don't call out "white girl" nearly as often when we walk around town because we are normal now. If you see the same person walking around the market every day eventually its nothing new and that transition has made me feel even more at home here. I do miss home but at the same time I feel like now I will always have two homes. Guyana will always have a special place in my heart and I do feel like I have finally adjusted to live here completely. The other day I hadn't had rice in two days and I started to crave it... I HATED rice when I first came to Guyana. Time can really change anything.


Things I've Learned: 

1) Don't be too trusting. I've always been too trusting in my life and here in Guyana that has been a little dangerous at times. I have found that there really can be wicked people in the world and I now feel more confident that I am always thinking on the cautious side. My grandpa told me when I left Guyana that I always need to be thinking of "is this safe" - I feel he would be proud as today I feel I am very aware of my surroundings and what is going on. I feel that this is even more important now that I am used to things here and it could be easy to get complacent.

2) Its not the end of the world. Yes, things will go wrong, people will hurt you, lie to you and manipulate you. The thing is at the end of the day when I lay down in my misquito net the only other person there is God. At the end of the day and at the end of my life its just between me and Him. So i've learned it's not the end of the world and when someone hurts me - well they have to answer to God for their actions so I will let Him stress about it. I'm not going to waste my life and energy - then they just take even more away from me.

3) I'm not always right. Pride gets into the way so many times and often we always think we know best. Guess what we don't. We are not always right and quite often we are wrong. Start admitting when you are wrong and it will make life MUCH EASIER. Trust me. Also it will help you to grow in your faith because you then realize you have to rely on someone other than yourself.

4) My family will always be there for me, no matter what.

5) Ice cream is amazing and I do miss it - :)

6) You don't have to be in South America to be doing really great things. You can do really great things right where you are every day. Bored? Go to http://www.freerice.com/  - Need to buy a nice gift... order from a social justice webiste like http://www.tenthousandvillages.ca/ or http://www.thehungersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=1
 - Don't use the internet often? Then take some time to go and do something for your local charity. I was really provoked in thought by my grandparents who really love animals so they donate to the humane society. It made me think - hey - why don't people just do something that they like which could also turn to good. It was easy for them because it included something they are passionate about. I very much am inspired when people follow their passions no matter what they are.
So maybe you like to cook or bake... find a friend, a family, or someone who needs something to eat. Maybe once every six months try and do one of your favorite things to help someone in need. It doesn't have to be someone poor or dying it could be someone who has everything they need in the world but is lacking love. Mother Teresa talks about how being impoverished from the lack of love is the worst kind of poverty. I might be able to fight literal poverty but there are so many types of poverty in the world and yet so few people fighting the battle. 




Friendships:

When I left the US a year ago I thought that I knew exactly who I would keep in contact with and exactly who would be there for me. If you were to tell me today those who are important to me now I would be surprised and slightly confused - but in the end its all for the best. I have learned that in order to keep up international friendships both people need to put in quite a bit of effort and this can be both tiring and draining. Amid the friendships that have gone through the cracks I have found some solid friendships I am now convinced will last a lifetime. My experience here has taught me how we must be conscious in life and fight for those who we find important.
I always think its important in life to take time to thank those and acknowledge those who have really helped you and so I wanted to take a moment to do that.

First of all I need to thank Erica Riestenberg for her constant support. More than any other friend I have Erica is a constant sense of support from the states and I don't know where I would be without her. Brandon and Tasha Lehner also deserve very big thanks in many ways. I know that I always have their thoughts and prayers but also for being there for me when I needed help. I want to thank any friend who I may have reached out to for various reasons and for all of the help that I have received. I will always be indebted to those who have made my past year hear a wonderful experience.

I would also like to thank the international friends I have met here in Guyana. A special thanks to: Wai Wai - a close friend who always provided a listening ear and an open heart when I needed it. I will miss my coffee dates with her as she is now in Atlanta. Andrew - for being a true brother to me. Whenever I have a rough day I know I can turn to him for a laugh, a good talk, family guy, or cookies! :) Anna and Hen who I have already mentioned in this blog, Dustin for letting me wash all my clothes when I broke out in hives with a washer and a dryer! Gabe for letting me be ridiculous and loving me all the same. Dave for being interested in my work and getting involved with the orphanage himself!

Family:

My family has been by FAR the BIGGEST support throughout my experience in Guyana. Not only did some of them come to visit me here they are always willing to help me out. I have received so much love from them all I could never repay them.Many of my family members I have mentioned in previous blogs - so for those who already got a shout out, sorry, you had your turn :)


One of the biggest blessings is the my Auntie Deb sends me many many greeting cards. I don't think people realize how much it means to get a piece of mail here in Guyana and on many rough days I am greeted by a card from her. It doesn't take my energy to send a card - it just takes commitment and she has committed herself to making my journey in Guyana a little bit brighter.


Another really HUGE blessing in my life is my Auntie Annie who has helped me to keep in touch with the world back home through pictures and letters. When she came to visit me she brought me a great album! My Auntie Annie supports me in so many unsaid ways - and I will forever be grateful and will end up taking care of her and my dear Uncle Warren when they are old. See its in my blog now, so you have proof I said it! :) I know they area always there for me.


I've always been a mommy's girl - and well I don't know what I would do without her. It was recently her birthday and I never got to give her a shout out - She is a great mother. Not because of what she taught me but because she always encouraged me to be who I wanted to be. She never forced me to be something I wasn't and no matter what I choose to do with my life I know she will always be behind me!


I have so many other family members who support me that this blog would get way to terribly long and boring. I am forever thankful for my family and look forward to getting back to them next year! I have a lot to catch up on and a lot of new recipes to share!

And finally to a close! 

Well I guess I have written quite a lot here and I hope that you can see my life here is going well. Know that I continue to pray for my family and friends back home. In a year I will be back with you all and I am very much looking forward to that day. Until then I will be with you at Mass, Jesus unites us all. You have my thoughts, prayers and love.

Ashley Ann

Will try to upload more photos soon! Check out my sisters facebook pictures from when she came to Guyana!!