Once again another week has flown by and I feel like it was just yesterday that I was writing my blog. Days seem to be moving faster and faster. I keep hearing how weather back state side is getting colder and colder and its really hard for me to imagine right now. This week it was rainy for both thursday and friday and we felt like we were in our own little "cold spell". All four of us felt cold on friday and sat around the house with long sleeve shrits on... However, I am sure it was nothing compare to the cold that has hit the states.
Last Sunday was one of my favorite days I have had in a long time. I went out to my friend Andrew's house with my friend Venus and met a few other people out there. We ended up spending the entire day cooking and relaxing. When we finished cooking we watched Big Bang Theory which I have to say is one of my favorite shows now. I think it is absolutely hilarious. Maybe part of the reason I find it so hilarious is because I know a couple people who vaguely remind me of Sheldon, a man with almost no social skills, and I can't help but laugh whenever he says something ridiculous. Sunday night we went out to the sea wall and relaxed. It wasn't anything special but it was just all together a very relaxing sunday, helped me to get ready for the week ahead.
School this week went pretty well. I am always surprised at how the students behave depending on the week - the class last week that had no attention span and no energy acted as angels and the class that is normally angels decided to be completely distracted and lost through out the entire hour. I have learned that predicting the behavior of my students is impossible so I just take things one day at a time.
Life at the hospital was as expected this week. We had a steady week with no extremely busy moments, yet very few completely dead moments. The hospital is under construction and I am completely sick of the noise that is going on there. It is always so loud and I can't wait for it to stop. However - the construction will be going on for a LONG time so I guess I just have to get used to it.
This week I've been reminded to focus on the good that people bring into your life. One of my co-workers Terese always brings a smile to my face. On Friday I gave away my lunch to someone who forgot to bring their lunch to work and asked her to buy something for me when she went out on the road. When she came back she brought me an AMAZING and FREE lunch. It was from a restaurant that I had never been to before and the food was out of this world! She even brought me a coke which just made my day. I know that this sounds really small - but sometimes when you have a really long week even the small things in life can just make a REALLY huge difference.
On Wednesday this week I got off of work about a half an hour early because I had to run some errands related to our visa's before different offices opened. I ended up getting a free ride from my co-workers friend so the extra time I took off was not needed. When I realized I had some extra time I decided to stop by a church that one of my past students now works at. When I went to go find him we had a really good discussion. He is doing well and is actually now in charge of his own "parish" in an area about an hour away from Georgetown. He asked me if I wanted to stay for the prayer service which was starting in a few minutes but I kept giving a reason for why I couldn't stay. He had to leave town so he didn't pressure me too hard because he wasn't going to be there anyway. On my way out another pastor kept talking to me and trying to convince me to stay. I have a really difficult time saying no (something I inherited from my mother) and ended up going to the prayer meeting.
Now I've always had non denominational friends before but never have I been to a prayer service like this. There was a lot of loud praying and yelling and at first I was completely freaked out. I was doubtful that God was hearing any of this as I thought it was all crazy. After a while we sat down and they handed out a bible story and their interpretation of it. It was the bible story of when Moses is on Mount Sinai. The scripture that they looked at was: "God called to him from within the bush, "moses moses!" and moses said, "here I am." Do not come any closer, God said. Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." (Exodus 3:2-4)
They then went on to talk about if the sandals didn't have negative influence then God wouldn't ask Moses to take them off. The sandals represented the doubts that Moses had in his life. In order to fully approach God Moses had to remove all doubts that he had and come to God without any reservation. This really made me think about my own life and what kind of sandals I am wearing on my feet. What am I doubting that is keeping me from a full complete relationship with God. I wrote in my last blog how I have a hard time being sure that heaven exists and that is a perfect example of a doubt that I walk around with. Like our shoes, our doubts become a part of us that our entire self rests on. I doubted that I would get anything from this prayer session and yet I still found something, how much easier would it have been if they didn't have to practically drag me into the church. How much better would it have been if the doubts didn't have my judging the validity of the prayers being offered at that very time.
One last line that really hit me from the sheet they gave me went: "I believe that those who have not conquered what they are fighting to conquer, due to the faith they claim to have in God, Surely, have not yet removed the sandals (doubts) from their feet. Due to this they have not yet placed all their strength {in God}." This hit me really hard. Sometimes I want God to have control of my life but I don't want to give Him all of myself - I give him a piece here, a piece there but there are major things in my life where I say to God: "Don't worry I got this one...". What am I thinking?!?! I don't have the right answer yet instead of removing the doubt I have that God won't bring me happiness and peace - I cling to my own strength and often fall.
What sandals are you wearing that is keeping you from approaching God fully?
Moses removed his sandals and God sent him to Pharaoh to bring his people out of Egypt. It was difficult, it was hard and I am sure there were many times where Moses sandals again got in the way of God... but in the end Moses brought the Israelites out of Pharaoh's reign and this journey could have never began had Moses not first removed his sandals.
May you all have a blessed week! Prayers and love being sent your way!
Always,
Ashley Ann
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