Dear Friends and Family,
Today is my best friend from high school's birthday!!!! I am missing her very much! We have been through the past 15 or so years of life together and I am sad to be so far away when she turns 23!!! :) She has always been a sense of calm and security through my life and for that I could not be more thankful!
Well this week has been an interesting one. Audrey's family arrived Sunday morning and it was really exciting. Not only did they bring us candy from home but it was just really good to talk with her family. They have been really interested in all aspects of our lives and its good to share what we have here with people who are closest to Audrey. It is also nice to come home to see her parents because it gives our house a little more "homey" feeling.
Work at the hospital this week was busy for me. I spent a lot of time doing clerical work because we are still working on reports. Finally on Wednesday afternoon I finally got everything done. Nothing was too exciting other than the constant movement. Seeing and talking with the patients is also very rewarding. I find an abundance of kindness and respect from the people I work with. I was working with a child who is HIV + and he was so sweet in my mind I said "I just want to take you home with me".
Work at Mercy Wings this week was rough. On Thursday morning I had to give my students an assessment. During the test they were really difficult. I was having a hard time keeping them quiet which is unusual for them. At the end of the test one of the students tells me how his cell phone had been stolen during the test. I ended up sending for the Co-Coordinator of the school because I knew that it was something I couldn't deal with. The students were searched thoroughly but the phone was never found. Although a phone wasn't found quite a few forbidden items were. The boy who's phone was stolen is super sweet and never causes any trouble. The boys who took it (Suspected to have) are very difficult and almost never cooperate. I guess the rough part about this is there is one boy in particular who I have seen change over the past month. He used to keep to himself, be respectful, smart, and always help out. Then he started to hang out with the boys who are suspected to have stolen the phone. Within the past month he has become more aggressive and disrespectful. Last week I asked him to clean for me and he tried to disrespect me in front of all of the other students. This was something that is very rare for him. I let it go and told him if he did it again I would make him clean the entire yard of the school. This week while we were taking the test he once again gave me problems. After the test had gone and the bell rang I called him into my class. We discussed his test and how he almost failed. I confronted him on the fact that last term he was the second highest student and that I expected better from him. When we were talking one on one I told him that he was being respectful. He responded "Miss I always respect you" and I said "You always respect me when the other boys can't see". He shamefully looked at me and didn't argue. I told him how I knew he could be and has been a better person, I asked him if I should expect this behavior from him to continue or if he would return to his normal respectful self.
This is the most difficult aspect of my job because it breaks my heart to see him go in the wrong direction. It's so difficult when you see the untapped potential of a student and see them waste their time and try and fit in. I pray that he is able to see the good he has in himself. I pray that all of my students see the dignity that they have.
My girl in the hospital is still struggling very much. Her breathing is still difficult and painful but she is trying to be a fighter. I was unable to talk with her because when I went in she was sleeping. We have been taking turns going to see her and bringing her juice and water. I continue to ask for prayers for her. It is difficult to watch someone suffer for so long.
One thing that i've really been reflecting on this week is the fact that so many times we dream big but do nothing. I was thinking about the lack of education in the world today and how daunting of a problem it is. Then I thought well what can I do to fix it? I am teaching in one small area of the world but that doesn't change anything on the broad scale. Then I realized that so many of my friends and family back home also have passions about things such as: being green, helping children, spending time with the elderly... etc. Then I thought of someone I personally know who wants to be very green however is too lazy to recycle things within their own home. We dream about a greener world but sometimes forget the small things we can do. I found that in Guyana I have had to learn that I can dream big but I must work small. Sitting and thinking about things doesn't get anything done.
I've also learned to try and do what I love to do this week. Sometimes I get so caught up in the things I need to do, how quickly they can be done, and who good I am at doing them. I forget to take time for myself. I think that was one lesson my aunt and uncle taught me earlier this summer. They both love to cook and so they cook. I was able to cook with them this summer and it really helped me to relax and enjoy my time before leaving. Its simple... do what you love, and love what you do.
May you have a blessed week. Know that I am praying for you and I ask for your prayers.
Love,
Ashley Ann
