Miss Stop Speeding!

Dear Family and Friends,

I write to you after a very relaxing weekend, but a very long week. Our retreat last week went very well. We spent most of the time just hanging out, reading, and talking. On Saturday morning we took a two and a half hour long adventure along the sea wall. It is a different type of sea wall than that of Georgetown and it was a good change in scenery. We all got a little sunburnt even though we put plenty of sunscreen on.

I found an apostolic letter by Pope John Paul II on the christian meaning of human suffering. It was a really good letter to read because it helped to put everything that I had been experiencing together. I remembered that suffering is always difficult but if we focus on the sufferings of Christ and how we can unite with Him things become a little easier. I am not saying it takes away any of the pain, or that it doesn't still really suck, I am just saying that its better than becoming self absorbed into the "why me". I need to remember that when I feel bad for myself and wonder why I am going through this I accomplish nothing... however, when I think to offer up my suffering for someone else I remember that good can come out of terrible situations. I've noticed people keep saying in the end you will realize there is a reason for all of this and maybe that is the lesson I need to learn. I have to understand that even though I don't understand it all now, I need to let go of the control and the wanting to understand and live life as it is presented to me. When life gives you limes, buy el dorado rum, coke and make a drink! :) haha.

This week at school I felt like the students decided to become extraordinarily agitated. I don't know a reason for this and I was not the only one to notice this. I feel that there must be something in the air. This made the days really long and punishment quite frequent. I have and always will be terrible at punishing students. I can be such a soft person that I fail to actually punish strict enough. I feel that the longer I am in Guyana the better I become at finding reasonable and just punishments. I wish that punishment wasn't a part of the job, but it is and therefore its just another place where I can grow as a teacher.

However even among the frustrations there are always the students that make you smile. I am constantly surprised at students when I see them grow as a person. I have learned that you can never label a student as a bad egg because there is good in everyone. Even the most difficult of students can surprise you by the changes they can make if they want to be a better person.

One of my co-workers at the hospital was gone for almost a month and she finally came back this week. I was really happy to see her and it made my week that much better. Work at the hospital was full of tons of clerical work because it is the end of the month and I was busy helping put reports together. Not fun, but necessary for the job! :)

If I've learned anything this week it has been that I must be patient. I sometimes feel like when I am confused or conflicted that I need an immediate answer. I spent the past two weeks thinking over something in my mind that I really didn't need to think about. Today it was on my mind all day and finally at the end of the day I realized the only reason the problem is not going away is because I am letting myself dwell on it. The Guyanese always say you shouldn't "Study things" (think too much) because it will make you old fast. I agree. My students noticed that I was "studying something" and kept telling me to not "take on too much stress". I feel that sometimes we wrap our minds in stress when really we need to let it go. Today my good friend told me "Miss, stop speeding", which means that I need to stop thinking so much. I then took the bus home and by the end of the bus ride I realized that he is right... I just need to stop thinking and let the cards play. If I can't control a situation I must remember "What will be, will be".

Well I hope that you have a wonderful week. (Update - my student is stable now, but still in need of many prayers to make it through this!... more later!)

Love,

Ashley Ann