Please pray for Katie Grace

Hello everyone,

As a kid did you ever eat a whole bunch of sour candy and then your stomach felt really upset? There is a "fruit" here called Tamarind, I don't know if its really a fruit, but anyway - it makes a really really sour syrup that is made into these small balls which are coated in sugar. I just ate two of them and although the sour sweet tasted great going down, I now have a small regret eating them all.

This week has been a very stressful week. I think I do a very good job at focusing on the positive aspects of Guyana, but to be honest there are a ton of stressful things. My biggest stress currently is the dynamics at my work place. I work at a hospital where finances are extremely tight. In fact finances are so tight that we don't even have soap and paper towels in our bathrooms because that is an extra added expense.

I work in a department that has two social workers plus me. One of the social workers recently resigned and in the process of resignation there was a ton of office drama that showed the true colors of both the administration of the hospital and the department. I don't think its any different that another part of the world trying to cut costs and make money, but where is the mercy. I feel lost and confused at how to handle the stark reality that the world will always be flawed.

I wish and dream for justice for everyone who is involved in the situation but it will never happen because people are simply prideful and self absorbed. And I don't just mean this in this context but in general. You find wicked people all over the world, and yet whenever I see wickedness I lose my temper and want to fight. I don't often yell or get upset but when I see true injustice my blood pressure goes through the roof.

The world is in chaos because we love things and like people. I often pray that I truly learn to be prudent in all my decisions because I dread the idea of growing up to be a person who loves things and likes people. I pray that I grow up and don't lose the drive to have mercy and compassion.

Last weekend the homily at Church very much applies to my life here as a missionary and it follows:

³¹ “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. ³² All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³ He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
   ³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
   ³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
   ⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
   ⁴¹ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
   ⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
   ⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
   ⁴⁶ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”


The priest at Mass made a very good point about how when Jesus said this Jesus wasn't talking about Check Book Ministry. This is actually something that has been on my mind for a very long time. I was walking down the road one day and I saw a young boy who was wearing a shirt that said: "A family in Canada loves me". And I thought to myself - does that family really love him, or do they give a small amount of the extra money they have out so that you can have a shirt, and maybe some food. Now I want to say that giving money is EXTREMELY important and that without financial support I couldn't be doing the work I am. So please, always feel free to continue writing supportive checks, but in this Gospel it shows us that Jesus calls for so much more. Do we know people who we could help and yet turn them away. 


So many times I see help in a bad way. For example there is an un-named organization that brings in donations to third world countries. The other day we got a whole shipment of G-string underwear. Seriously?! What you should call yourself G-strings for the poor?! I was so upset at the fact that people look at stuff and think: "Oh, I don't want this crap, so let me give this crap to someone who might also not be able to use this crap but it will make me feel better inside". Yes, old clothes are great and needed, but old underwear and socks is just degrading. Poor people have dignity. Sometimes that's all they have left and by treating them like dirt we treat Jesus like dirt. 

For example when you give food to the food shelf do you go through your house and give out all of the stuff that you aren't going to use? Are you really thinking about your neighbor when you do that? I guess I get so passionate about this because I know the faces and the names of people who could benefit so much from the excess of other people, but often just get sent junk. I don't think when Jesus said to clothe, feed, and give water to our neighbors he wanted us to give crap. 

When you are giving as Christ says when you help His people you help him. Would you change your donations if you thought of that every time you were about to help someone. 

Where is our focus, are we giving out of excess and guilt, or are we giving out of our heart?

These are some of the things that are constantly running through my mind as I complete my job here. I don't mean to be directly accusing anyone or calling anyone out. Rather - just frustrated at the fact that us humans are completely flawed and wishing for a perfectly just world. 

I know a young girl who is now HIV + because she was raped by someone close to her. I always find a lack of words to say but I've realized this week that I don't really need to say anything. Sometimes just always being there and being compassionate is the most you can do. Life really isn't fair, but we still have to make the best of it. 

On a somewhat brighter side I have student named Jamal who has ADHD to the MAX. He can't sit still, listen, or pay attention for more than 10 seconds. I have been struggling with him all year to accomplish anything and each week I get a little more frustrated. Last week I had come to the end of my patience and I couldn't handle him anymore. Then I decided to change my approach. Instead of getting mad at Jamal and yelling at him every time he was ridiculous I decided I would put my hand on his shoulder and ask him what was going on. Or give him a small moment of encouragement. Finally this week during computer class I had a break through. I let Jamal work on my computer and I sat next to him and he actually worked for an entire half an hour. I was so relieved and happy. It made me frustrated at myself that I hadn't been more compassionate before.  However, I am glad I finally had a break through. 

I forgot it was THANKSGIVING this week. No holiday away from home actually seems like a holiday. We did have a small celebration with our friend Alex on Wednesday night since Sarah had to work on Thursday. It was nice but really I was just wishing that I was home. There is no place like home for the holidays. 

Before I end I wanted to ask you all a favor. My cousin has recently adopted a small girl from China. Her name is Katie Grace and from the pictures I have seen she is just adorable!! She is having some medical problems with her lungs and heart and is in need of  many prayers. Here is a link to her blog: http://www.adoptionoverseas.blogspot.com/  

I beg you for prayers for this little girl. Please read her story and keep her in your thoughts. As my HIV patients always tell me - God can take me through anything. 

Have a safe and happy week. Please pray for a safe and honest election here on Monday. 

Love and prayers, 

Ashley Ann