Hello Friends and Family,
This week I was told by a man that I could come live in his room and cook for him forever. For the first time I wasn't disgusted by this because the truth is it really wasn't a man but rather a boy who had just turned four years old!! I work with his mother and she brought him in for a few hours after school. I spent the last part of my work blowing bubbles with him and chasing him around. I told him I was going to steal him and bring him home but then he told me I didn't have to steal him I could just take him. His mother just laughed.
This week was a good week and was on the upswing from last week. Work at the hospital was rather slow this week because two of the doctors were out but I did get to spend a lot of time working closely with my boss on some projects for her. I had to create a new power point presentation for HIV ART adherence. It was a good project to keep me occupied for a while. Once I finished the presentation I was informed that I would also have to give it. I laughed at this because I hate speaking in front of people. It ended up going really well and I got a lot of good questions. The program nurse was also there so she helped me explain things when I had a hard time thinking of a good way to explain.
Going back to school was good. I find that living in Guyana has taught me much much patience. I worked with a boy this week to figure out how to double click and how to use the backspace button. He has a really difficult time with school and I spent about an hour working on these two simple items. At many points I started to become frustrated... It was a good reality check for myself. Just because I can get something quick doesn't mean that I need to demean or get frustrated with someone who can't. I still have a long way to go when it comes to patience - but I feel this young man will really help me on my journey.
On Wednesday I got done with work early at the hospital because there were no patients and none coming in. I decided to run up to the orphanage because its the same bus that I take home and I got to see the boys. One of my little nursery boys ran and jumped into my arms and said "Miss, please take me home with you again". Ever since we had them at our house they want to come again. It is so hard to say no to them when so badly you wish you could just take them all. However this is completely ridiculous as our house would be destroyed within five minutes. One of the boys who is especially attached to me was sitting with me and another volunteer was lifting some boys up so they could jump high and he ran over to her. He looked back at me with a look that said "ha ha - look I have a new friend" I turned away and immediately I heard running foot steps and some hands around my leg. He said "Miss Miss - I'm just kidding!!!". I will never be able to show them as much love as they show me.
I can't believe that I have been here 5 months already. When I talked to my mom the other day she said it felt like two years already, however to me it feels like about 2 months. Each day goes by so quickly!! I've decided I need to start making goals of things I want to do or see before I leave because before you know it I will be back home.
I was talking to a friend in the park today about money. He was telling me how he feels like people who have a lot of money are really snotty and harsh. He said that its not because they have the money but because they don't share. Audrey, Sarah and I did some reflecting this week and we thought about how lucky and fortunate we were... However this was not about our lives in America but rather out lives in Guyana. We made a decision to live simply and we do - however we still have a t.v., we still have food in our fridge, locks and bolts on our doors, water, and clothes on our backs. I feel that these past five months have changed my perspective of privileged. I feel I need to make conscious decisions to live more simply in order to focus on the attachment I have to money. Money will never bring me happiness - but it is also necessary in my life. I feel that my experience in Guyana has taught me to view money in a different light. Its such a touchy and complex issue that when discussing it conversations can often become heated. I guess maybe that is why I am glad my mother and grandmother brought me up the way they did. They always taught me to be generous and share even when I may not have had as much as I would have liked. There lessons still ring strong here and convict me... Mothers always know best right.
I think that reflecting on generosity reminds me a lot of my family. Often times when I thought about the support I would find in Guyana I thought about the friends that would send me letters. However - I would say my family has been overwhelmingly supportive. Whether it is cards from aunts and uncles or e-mails to even a small simple packages from my grandparents it helps me to remember the support system I came from. I will always be grateful for the generosity from my family.
Anyway, Have a great week - I am looking forward to a fun weekend!!!
Love,
Ashley Ann
Whatsoever you do to the least of My people, that you do unto Me.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
MGD and rice crispies!!
Hello Friends and Family,
I have had an interesting week. Lisa our director was here. It was a great start to the week because she brought us presents that our family had sent to her. My mother sent me some clothes which was a really huge blessing. But I suppose that makes it sound like the clothes were better than Lisa... Lisa was really the true blessing.
Although it was a blessing to have Lisa this week I do have to admit that I had a pretty terrible week. You ever have those times where you just feel like everything is going wrong? I was thinking about how to really phrase this in a blog because I feel you must be prudent when sharing your thoughts on the internet and I realized that its okay to have bad weeks. Everyone has those days when they feel like throwing in the towel and I guess what makes the difference is when you don't.
I've learned that being away from home can be difficult because you are used to being able to pick up a phone and call those who you love or even perhaps going to go and see them. This for me was impossible. I did learn that I have much support right in my own home from Audrey and Sarah. They seem like angels to me and it makes living away from home much easier.
However as I am a true optimist there has been many good things this week. I had two students teach me how to make Channa and Palori which are Guyanese food. They tasted AMAZING. It was a really good experience to be able to learn and also bond with the students I love so dearly.
On Wednesday I went over to a friend I met from the Embassy and she had MGD and made rice crispies (I helped!!). It was a really good taste of home.
Lisa also bought us lunch on Sunday. (Not in chronological order today!) She had us try new foods we hadn't yet gotten around to. Good choice! Lisa is not only a great listener but also a great food guide.
This weekend we went to dinner with some short term volunteers and then invited them over to our house the next night. One of my Guyanese friends was talking to the American and she didn't understand what he was saying. I said it in my American accent but she still didn't understand the phrase and I realized that I forgot how I would normally say it back home. I guess my speech has changed since I have been here!! It was really great to have them around and to see some new faces even if just for a few days. They also left us some granola bars and banana grams!!! SUPER EXCITIED!!!
So I guess in the end after writing this I am reminded that amid even the worst of weeks there can still be much good. I ask for prayers for my girls and the situations they encounter each day. I ask for prayers for myself, Sarah and Audrey that we may continue to face challenges together. And finally I assure you of my prayers that you know even among the worst of times life still has much providence.
Love and prayers,
Ashley Ann
I have had an interesting week. Lisa our director was here. It was a great start to the week because she brought us presents that our family had sent to her. My mother sent me some clothes which was a really huge blessing. But I suppose that makes it sound like the clothes were better than Lisa... Lisa was really the true blessing.
Although it was a blessing to have Lisa this week I do have to admit that I had a pretty terrible week. You ever have those times where you just feel like everything is going wrong? I was thinking about how to really phrase this in a blog because I feel you must be prudent when sharing your thoughts on the internet and I realized that its okay to have bad weeks. Everyone has those days when they feel like throwing in the towel and I guess what makes the difference is when you don't.
I've learned that being away from home can be difficult because you are used to being able to pick up a phone and call those who you love or even perhaps going to go and see them. This for me was impossible. I did learn that I have much support right in my own home from Audrey and Sarah. They seem like angels to me and it makes living away from home much easier.
However as I am a true optimist there has been many good things this week. I had two students teach me how to make Channa and Palori which are Guyanese food. They tasted AMAZING. It was a really good experience to be able to learn and also bond with the students I love so dearly.
On Wednesday I went over to a friend I met from the Embassy and she had MGD and made rice crispies (I helped!!). It was a really good taste of home.
Lisa also bought us lunch on Sunday. (Not in chronological order today!) She had us try new foods we hadn't yet gotten around to. Good choice! Lisa is not only a great listener but also a great food guide.
This weekend we went to dinner with some short term volunteers and then invited them over to our house the next night. One of my Guyanese friends was talking to the American and she didn't understand what he was saying. I said it in my American accent but she still didn't understand the phrase and I realized that I forgot how I would normally say it back home. I guess my speech has changed since I have been here!! It was really great to have them around and to see some new faces even if just for a few days. They also left us some granola bars and banana grams!!! SUPER EXCITIED!!!
So I guess in the end after writing this I am reminded that amid even the worst of weeks there can still be much good. I ask for prayers for my girls and the situations they encounter each day. I ask for prayers for myself, Sarah and Audrey that we may continue to face challenges together. And finally I assure you of my prayers that you know even among the worst of times life still has much providence.
Love and prayers,
Ashley Ann
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Sunshine and a Blue Sky
Hello!
Sometimes I forget that the vast majority of you are living in a place filled with snow and cold. My roommates and I have been talking about cool it has been lately with the rain and how we are dreading the day when the rain stops again. The nice thing about the rain here is that just because it is rainy doesn't mean that you won't see the sun and a blue sky on the same day! It is super sunny with a clear sky right now but I bet in just a few hours it will rain at least a little bit.
This past week was an interesting one. My schedule has changed around quite a bit. I am now working at the hospital on Monday and Wednesday and at Mercy Wings (the school) on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. This is because the teacher that I was filling in for is now back. I am the computer teacher on Tuesday and Thursday but will be teaching my girls from last term craft on Friday mornings. Teaching computers is a very difficult task because some of the students can barely read and that makes thing much more difficult than I imagined. I have been working with a few students on their double clicking skills. I find that I take so many things for granted. Many of my students question what the space bar is... or what it means to double click. Ahh - a reality check for myself.
Working at the hospital is either really slow and during this slow time I enter charts into the computer... or SUPER busy with 10 patients waiting for either counselling or HIV tests. I do a lot of HIV pre-tests. Asking people very personal questions and informing them of the reality of HIV.
Last weekend we brought our friend Anna up to the orphanage with us. It was really funny to see the boys at first be shy of the new person but by the time ten minutes had passed to see them all asking her a million questions and never leaving her side. I think my favorite part about going up to the orphanage is there is two little boys who whenever they see you their faces look like they are seeing Santa or something and run and jump into your arms. I laugh each time. Ah the beauty of small children.
I wanted to go and buy some new work shirts because mine are either too stretched out from the line... or stained from the dirty water. I never realized how much of an adventure this would be. I went back to a market place I had been a couple week prior and everyone of course remembered me. I told them that I wanted shirts but of course out of kind but firm suggestions I also had to try on multiple jeans and tops for going out. In the end I ended up walking away with one pair of jeans and no shirts. The women kept telling me that I was going to have to pay them for making me look so "sweet". They had the goal of making me dress like a Guyanese. In this way I ended up with my first pair of straight legged jeans. I don't think I would have ever wore them in the states... but that is all that people wear here. They have two advantages - 1. You don't get the bottom all dirty - and 2. The mosquitos can't get inside them! I know the Guyanese wear them for style rather than practicality... but I am always the practical one.
Anyway - I hope things are going well for you. Know that I am keeping you in my prayers and I ask for your prayers.
Love,
Ashley Ann
"Love and sacrifice are as intimately tied together as sun and light. One cannot love without suffering and suffer without loving." - St. Gianna
Sometimes I forget that the vast majority of you are living in a place filled with snow and cold. My roommates and I have been talking about cool it has been lately with the rain and how we are dreading the day when the rain stops again. The nice thing about the rain here is that just because it is rainy doesn't mean that you won't see the sun and a blue sky on the same day! It is super sunny with a clear sky right now but I bet in just a few hours it will rain at least a little bit.
This past week was an interesting one. My schedule has changed around quite a bit. I am now working at the hospital on Monday and Wednesday and at Mercy Wings (the school) on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. This is because the teacher that I was filling in for is now back. I am the computer teacher on Tuesday and Thursday but will be teaching my girls from last term craft on Friday mornings. Teaching computers is a very difficult task because some of the students can barely read and that makes thing much more difficult than I imagined. I have been working with a few students on their double clicking skills. I find that I take so many things for granted. Many of my students question what the space bar is... or what it means to double click. Ahh - a reality check for myself.
Working at the hospital is either really slow and during this slow time I enter charts into the computer... or SUPER busy with 10 patients waiting for either counselling or HIV tests. I do a lot of HIV pre-tests. Asking people very personal questions and informing them of the reality of HIV.
Last weekend we brought our friend Anna up to the orphanage with us. It was really funny to see the boys at first be shy of the new person but by the time ten minutes had passed to see them all asking her a million questions and never leaving her side. I think my favorite part about going up to the orphanage is there is two little boys who whenever they see you their faces look like they are seeing Santa or something and run and jump into your arms. I laugh each time. Ah the beauty of small children.
I wanted to go and buy some new work shirts because mine are either too stretched out from the line... or stained from the dirty water. I never realized how much of an adventure this would be. I went back to a market place I had been a couple week prior and everyone of course remembered me. I told them that I wanted shirts but of course out of kind but firm suggestions I also had to try on multiple jeans and tops for going out. In the end I ended up walking away with one pair of jeans and no shirts. The women kept telling me that I was going to have to pay them for making me look so "sweet". They had the goal of making me dress like a Guyanese. In this way I ended up with my first pair of straight legged jeans. I don't think I would have ever wore them in the states... but that is all that people wear here. They have two advantages - 1. You don't get the bottom all dirty - and 2. The mosquitos can't get inside them! I know the Guyanese wear them for style rather than practicality... but I am always the practical one.
Anyway - I hope things are going well for you. Know that I am keeping you in my prayers and I ask for your prayers.
Love,
Ashley Ann
"Love and sacrifice are as intimately tied together as sun and light. One cannot love without suffering and suffer without loving." - St. Gianna
Friday, January 7, 2011
Truth
It has only been since Monday afternoon that I last posted but now that the holiday's are over and Fridays are normal again I feel it is time to get in the habit of posting on Fridays.
Going back to school after two weeks was a really great feeling. I miss the youth that I work with and I was ready to get back to work. When I showed up at school on Monday only 10 students showed up. Part of me was not surprised because it seemed like everyone else knew this was going to happen and attendance was poor pre break so I figured it may be the same post break. From what I hear next week things will resume as normal. I really hope so I miss the excitement of the children! (I mean teenagers...)
Monday was filled with busy work that I had to tie off from last semester. Tuesday on the other hand was a good day to reconnect with the students. I got to teach computer to the students and since there was so few I got to talk with most of them about their break and how it went. I was still shocked when some of my students were talking about the "Amazing" Christmas presents that they have received. One of my girls was ecstatic that she had received a watch and $4,000 gyd. ($20 USD). Now how many teenagers that you know would be disappointment with a watch (non expensive) and twenty dollars. It reminded me of the truth about Christmas once again - even after the fact I feel I always need to be reminded of how fortunate I am, so here I am saying it again.
Tuesday afternoon I went to go and sit with Ms. Holly and her class. Her class consisted of one student who I really hadn't got to know super well. He is about 6'3 and looks very intimidating. When we were talking with him I quickly laughed at how scary he looks but actually how he is probably one of the least violent students in the school. He was telling me how he recently became a Muslim. His family was never a practicing Muslim family but now he wanted to start practicing so he was learning. I asked him why he decided to become Muslim... he said he really didn't know why but that he just like it. I started to discuss the basics of Islam with him and he admitted to me that he really doesn't know anything about the religion. He then asked me if I could explain the basics of the religion to him. To be honest I do know some basics, and I did know all of the five pillars but that was just because I took a crusades class in college. We had a great discussion about faith and what God is and I challenged him to ask himself why he is searching for God. A while later he came back up to me and gave me some more thoughts. I was very impressed with his desire to think and actually reflect on decisions he was making in his life and I am glad he was open enough to share them.
After this discussion I went home and spent a lot of time thinking about truth. I had been frustrated with a few other things that had happened that day and my roommate Audrey asked me if I wanted to go for a walk to exercise. I agreed and it was a really great time to discuss life and continue my thinking.
When I got home that day I read a few lines from "Caritas in veritate" and the one line that suck out to me stated: "The demands of love do not contradict those of reason."
That line stuck with me for the whole day until the next when I went to Mass. Father was preaching on the readings and what hit me was the simple reminder that "God is love" (1st letter of St. John). And since God is love I translated my quote to: "The demands of God do not contradict those of reason."
I had enough to think about and was throwing myself through the loop when I went to my friend Anna's for dinner. We ended up having a long discussion about Christianity and life. It was good to talk with someone because life in Guyana for me has made me question so many things about life that I once knew. And once again truth came into discussion and I felt like for this week I could not escape the idea of truth. Finally this morning I got a letter which had the quote "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32.
I feel after this long string of coincidences that I could no longer ignore my thoughts. I often think of the world in black and white... and although this is true I am constantly questioning myself about truth and about what this black and white that I see is. And I felt frustrated at the fact that I didn't have an answer or a stance. I was frustrated that sometimes I can be so wishy washy and confused on what I actually want. I confuse truth for subjectivity and I get lost in all of the commotion. And then I decided to allow myself a moment to not be so hard on myself and I realized that "Ashley... at least you are actively searching for the truth".
I would like to tell you that I've figured it all out, and that I know enough to be completely convicted within my beliefs but even the most convicted of persons can have moments of uncertainty. And we only are defeated by this uncertainty when we stand stagnate and do not question or search. We must search for the answers. The difference between water that moves and water that is stagnate is that water that is stagnate begins to stink and collect crud. Water that is always moving is able to stay clean fresh. Whatever it receives it also gives. So the world will bring you uncertainty questions and doubt - but you decided if you move forward or not. So I sit here a convicted Catholic not because I accepted everything everyone told me but because I questioned everything and held fast to what I believed was truth.
An unexamined life is useless. A belief without conviction is trivial. Being lukewarm is not a good place to be... so remember.... the truth shall set you free. How can the truth set you free if you never search for it?
So ask the hard questions, lay down your pride, and figure out what truth really means to you. If I wouldn't have searched hard for what I thought truth was I wouldn't be here in Guyana right now. Truth is not synonymous with easy but as Jesus said: "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32. The truth may not be easy but it will bring you peace and freedom. Stand up for the truth - because at the end of your life when you look back and examine everything at least you can feel confident that you stood up for what you believed in. Know I am praying for you and please pray for me.
Love and prayers,
Ashley Ann
Going back to school after two weeks was a really great feeling. I miss the youth that I work with and I was ready to get back to work. When I showed up at school on Monday only 10 students showed up. Part of me was not surprised because it seemed like everyone else knew this was going to happen and attendance was poor pre break so I figured it may be the same post break. From what I hear next week things will resume as normal. I really hope so I miss the excitement of the children! (I mean teenagers...)
Monday was filled with busy work that I had to tie off from last semester. Tuesday on the other hand was a good day to reconnect with the students. I got to teach computer to the students and since there was so few I got to talk with most of them about their break and how it went. I was still shocked when some of my students were talking about the "Amazing" Christmas presents that they have received. One of my girls was ecstatic that she had received a watch and $4,000 gyd. ($20 USD). Now how many teenagers that you know would be disappointment with a watch (non expensive) and twenty dollars. It reminded me of the truth about Christmas once again - even after the fact I feel I always need to be reminded of how fortunate I am, so here I am saying it again.
Tuesday afternoon I went to go and sit with Ms. Holly and her class. Her class consisted of one student who I really hadn't got to know super well. He is about 6'3 and looks very intimidating. When we were talking with him I quickly laughed at how scary he looks but actually how he is probably one of the least violent students in the school. He was telling me how he recently became a Muslim. His family was never a practicing Muslim family but now he wanted to start practicing so he was learning. I asked him why he decided to become Muslim... he said he really didn't know why but that he just like it. I started to discuss the basics of Islam with him and he admitted to me that he really doesn't know anything about the religion. He then asked me if I could explain the basics of the religion to him. To be honest I do know some basics, and I did know all of the five pillars but that was just because I took a crusades class in college. We had a great discussion about faith and what God is and I challenged him to ask himself why he is searching for God. A while later he came back up to me and gave me some more thoughts. I was very impressed with his desire to think and actually reflect on decisions he was making in his life and I am glad he was open enough to share them.
After this discussion I went home and spent a lot of time thinking about truth. I had been frustrated with a few other things that had happened that day and my roommate Audrey asked me if I wanted to go for a walk to exercise. I agreed and it was a really great time to discuss life and continue my thinking.
When I got home that day I read a few lines from "Caritas in veritate" and the one line that suck out to me stated: "The demands of love do not contradict those of reason."
That line stuck with me for the whole day until the next when I went to Mass. Father was preaching on the readings and what hit me was the simple reminder that "God is love" (1st letter of St. John). And since God is love I translated my quote to: "The demands of God do not contradict those of reason."
I had enough to think about and was throwing myself through the loop when I went to my friend Anna's for dinner. We ended up having a long discussion about Christianity and life. It was good to talk with someone because life in Guyana for me has made me question so many things about life that I once knew. And once again truth came into discussion and I felt like for this week I could not escape the idea of truth. Finally this morning I got a letter which had the quote "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32.
I feel after this long string of coincidences that I could no longer ignore my thoughts. I often think of the world in black and white... and although this is true I am constantly questioning myself about truth and about what this black and white that I see is. And I felt frustrated at the fact that I didn't have an answer or a stance. I was frustrated that sometimes I can be so wishy washy and confused on what I actually want. I confuse truth for subjectivity and I get lost in all of the commotion. And then I decided to allow myself a moment to not be so hard on myself and I realized that "Ashley... at least you are actively searching for the truth".
I would like to tell you that I've figured it all out, and that I know enough to be completely convicted within my beliefs but even the most convicted of persons can have moments of uncertainty. And we only are defeated by this uncertainty when we stand stagnate and do not question or search. We must search for the answers. The difference between water that moves and water that is stagnate is that water that is stagnate begins to stink and collect crud. Water that is always moving is able to stay clean fresh. Whatever it receives it also gives. So the world will bring you uncertainty questions and doubt - but you decided if you move forward or not. So I sit here a convicted Catholic not because I accepted everything everyone told me but because I questioned everything and held fast to what I believed was truth.
An unexamined life is useless. A belief without conviction is trivial. Being lukewarm is not a good place to be... so remember.... the truth shall set you free. How can the truth set you free if you never search for it?
So ask the hard questions, lay down your pride, and figure out what truth really means to you. If I wouldn't have searched hard for what I thought truth was I wouldn't be here in Guyana right now. Truth is not synonymous with easy but as Jesus said: "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32. The truth may not be easy but it will bring you peace and freedom. Stand up for the truth - because at the end of your life when you look back and examine everything at least you can feel confident that you stood up for what you believed in. Know I am praying for you and please pray for me.
Love and prayers,
Ashley Ann
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Year's Resolutions
Happy New Year Everyone! New Years here was a very good experience. Many people here go to church late “old year’s night” to bring in the New Year. We went to church at 10:30 at St. Teresa’s. I thought it was interesting that almost all of the church services were late at night and went to almost midnight. The Cathedrals mass was at 11pm and went until 1am I heard! After we went to church (which was PACKED) we went to go and watch the fireworks. The fireworks were shot off not too far from our house at the GDF compound. (Guyana Defense Force) We went with our friend Wilton, his cousin, and another friend Hanzel. The thing is… we never made plans for after church we just figured that something would happen. After church they asked if we wanted to go to the fireworks and we gladly agreed. Everything here is very last minute, very last minute. I say that everything is last minute but I don’t want to put across that I feel like that is a bad thing. Audrey and I were talking about how many days here seem like laid back summer days – yet you still get things done. I feel like there is productivity and activity, it just lacks a lot of stress that I now find unnecessary. We didn’t have plans after church, and if nothing came up well then we would have went home and had fun ourselves. I feel like my life pre-Guyana was a lot of planned fun. We are going to do this… then this… then this… Life here is unexpected and I’m becoming to like the unexpectedness of it all. Anyway – after the fireworks which were very short we went back to our house, made brownies, ate brownies and hung out with friends.
On New Year’s eve I was talking with my friend Wilton and I asked him what his New Year’s resolution was and then when he asked me what mine was I realize how I never really make New Year’s resolutions. This thought kept with me through the next day when I went to a retreat put on by some sisters from the states. One thing that came up during the retreat was the idea of success. When you think of success what do you think of? When I asked my roommate Sarah what an average person would define success as she said they would probably say making an adequate amount of money to live comfortably. So often we relate large amounts of money to large amounts of success. Is success only based on money, fame, and popularity? Does success equal happiness? What is true success?
This helped me to think about how some people were disappointed with my decision to come to South America to volunteer because it wouldn’t help my career. And since I don’t have a career or a job yet that means some people think that I lack success. So, have I given up success for something else? Well if I gave up success what happens when I accomplish something here? And finally after many mental rhetorical questions I really had to come to terms with the idea that success for me has nothing to do with money, and I am going to be okay with that. Often times here I found myself hung up by the people who think that I should be “doing something with my life” and I finally stopped myself and realized success does not have to be monetary.
So often we hear the phrase you can’t take it with you when you’re gone. However that doesn’t stop us from striving after money and collecting stuff. Everywhere around you is stuff. There is so much stuff it makes me sick. I was thinking about Wal-Mart the other day and I almost started to cry because it’s just a store full of stuff. Sure some of it is necessary – but really why do we need so much. In the past 100 years wealth and stuff in America has increased exponentially yet happiness has decreased. Many successful wealthy people are still depressed and lonely. Stuff cannot make you happy. No matter how fun it is to play that play station or x box game stuff cannot bring you happiness. Yet the people with the most stuff and money are the people who are the most successful. So if you think success if having a lot of money, sure you may shoot for success but then also realize that does not mean success is synonymous with happiness.
My New Year’s resolution is to stay true to my own definition of what success is. For me the definition of success is to come home at the end of the day tired, out of patience, and used up because I put my all into my day. Then I have achieved my goal of using all of my abilities. If I go to my site each day and just get by I have not succeeded because then I have sold someone short. I succeed when I put in extra effort to smile to the girl on the street selling clothes. I succeed when I do the dishes for my roommates without complaining when it’s their mess and not mine. I succeed when I go play with the boys, when I go for a walk with a student, when I paint a new picture. I succeed when I will the good of another above myself.
Success is not about money, fame or popularity for me. The great thing about a blog is, I’m the only author, and this is the great thing about my life – I’m the one on the journey. You may disagree and think I’m wasting my time. You may agree with me and encourage me on my way. You may be someone who is apathetic to the whole idea and probably hasn’t even gotten this far in my blog. Whoever and wherever you are I encourage you to think about what success is for you. It doesn’t have to be the same thing as success for me – but is your definition of success money, and is that what you want it to be?
For the New Year I ask just one thing; succeed by my definition for just one day: Laugh, play in the snow, build a fort out of blankets, eat chocolate, love with all you have, go above and beyond, stop worrying so much and remember peace begins with a smile.
Love and Prayers,
Ashley Ann
On New Year’s eve I was talking with my friend Wilton and I asked him what his New Year’s resolution was and then when he asked me what mine was I realize how I never really make New Year’s resolutions. This thought kept with me through the next day when I went to a retreat put on by some sisters from the states. One thing that came up during the retreat was the idea of success. When you think of success what do you think of? When I asked my roommate Sarah what an average person would define success as she said they would probably say making an adequate amount of money to live comfortably. So often we relate large amounts of money to large amounts of success. Is success only based on money, fame, and popularity? Does success equal happiness? What is true success?
This helped me to think about how some people were disappointed with my decision to come to South America to volunteer because it wouldn’t help my career. And since I don’t have a career or a job yet that means some people think that I lack success. So, have I given up success for something else? Well if I gave up success what happens when I accomplish something here? And finally after many mental rhetorical questions I really had to come to terms with the idea that success for me has nothing to do with money, and I am going to be okay with that. Often times here I found myself hung up by the people who think that I should be “doing something with my life” and I finally stopped myself and realized success does not have to be monetary.
So often we hear the phrase you can’t take it with you when you’re gone. However that doesn’t stop us from striving after money and collecting stuff. Everywhere around you is stuff. There is so much stuff it makes me sick. I was thinking about Wal-Mart the other day and I almost started to cry because it’s just a store full of stuff. Sure some of it is necessary – but really why do we need so much. In the past 100 years wealth and stuff in America has increased exponentially yet happiness has decreased. Many successful wealthy people are still depressed and lonely. Stuff cannot make you happy. No matter how fun it is to play that play station or x box game stuff cannot bring you happiness. Yet the people with the most stuff and money are the people who are the most successful. So if you think success if having a lot of money, sure you may shoot for success but then also realize that does not mean success is synonymous with happiness.
My New Year’s resolution is to stay true to my own definition of what success is. For me the definition of success is to come home at the end of the day tired, out of patience, and used up because I put my all into my day. Then I have achieved my goal of using all of my abilities. If I go to my site each day and just get by I have not succeeded because then I have sold someone short. I succeed when I put in extra effort to smile to the girl on the street selling clothes. I succeed when I do the dishes for my roommates without complaining when it’s their mess and not mine. I succeed when I go play with the boys, when I go for a walk with a student, when I paint a new picture. I succeed when I will the good of another above myself.
Success is not about money, fame or popularity for me. The great thing about a blog is, I’m the only author, and this is the great thing about my life – I’m the one on the journey. You may disagree and think I’m wasting my time. You may agree with me and encourage me on my way. You may be someone who is apathetic to the whole idea and probably hasn’t even gotten this far in my blog. Whoever and wherever you are I encourage you to think about what success is for you. It doesn’t have to be the same thing as success for me – but is your definition of success money, and is that what you want it to be?
For the New Year I ask just one thing; succeed by my definition for just one day: Laugh, play in the snow, build a fort out of blankets, eat chocolate, love with all you have, go above and beyond, stop worrying so much and remember peace begins with a smile.
Love and Prayers,
Ashley Ann
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