Happy Birthday Andrew and Chloe

I first want to wish a Happy Birthday to my two cousins Chloe and Andrew. I couldn’t help but think about the two of them often this week…

Last weekend was good but made me really tired. I feel like weekends here need to be a chance to relax but I feel as if they keep getting filled up with stuff. I ended up taking one of my British friends shopping for clothes and such on Saturday. That was good but shopping always makes you tired and hungry. We ended up hanging out with friends on Saturday night. I enjoy hanging out with people but I am pretty sure that this weekend will be a stay at home weekend.

This week has been good. I found myself often wondering if what we do makes a difference. There are days when the truth is that there isn’t as much work for me to do as other and I wonder if what I am doing really counts. How can such little things actually make a difference? Sometimes I see people doing such terrible things. I often wonder what is to come when I see such little hope. Then it was my cousin Andrews birthday and I couldn’t help but think of the conversation we had two years ago on the fourth of July. The context of the conversation is for only us to know but I still remember how he gave me so much hope. He reminded me that in every age group in every generation there are people who give you reason to hold onto the idea of a better world.

On the same day I got an e-mail from a good friend with a link on it that related exactly to what I was thinking about. The main message of the passage I read was that: Who are we to judge what little measure of good will tip the scale into a downfall of goodness.

It’s natural for me to doubt whether I am making a difference or not, but I must remember I am not seeing the whole picture. I can only see from my own perspective so I must trust from other perspectives that good is being done. I must have hope. If I had the courage and energy to leave my home country and travel somewhere without anyone I really knew then I have enough in me to have hope that there is a purpose to everything.

Then during our spirituality night Audrey talked with us about compassion. I was reminded that it isn't the amount of people that I touch it is the love that I put into the work. Who am I to call my brother or sister... Audrey and Sarah are just as much of my sisters as the homeless woman on the street yet somedays I don't even give her the decency of looking her in the eye. I was reminded that the little things count. Maybe I give them $20 GD (.10 US cents) and I don't know what they do but at least I know they could buy a water. Who am I to judge if they save it up and spend it on something much more addictive... I still have to give them the dignity of choice and I choose to have some hope.

(Tangent Ended)

On Sunday I went for a walk on the sea wall with some friends. We went during the day and I thought about how different my life would have been if I lived in the States right now because instead of taking a walk I would be getting ready for the super bowl. I never got to watch the super bowl because either you needed cable or certain more upscale bars had them but neither of my roommates wanted to go so I didn’t feel like going alone. It ended up being okay we went to church together that night and spent the rest of the evening talking and hanging out.

Work has been normal this week. I need more patience because I am starting to get frustrated with certain aspects of my job. I think as I am getting close to the six month mark I feel a little less eager as I once did to put all my energy into what I am doing. Please pray that I regain my energy and patience. I know that this is a battle worth fighting because approaching my jobs with patience and energy makes it easier for me and the people I work with.

On Wednesday night I went out with some “white” friends (Canadians, British, and a couple of Americans) because one person I know decently is leaving to go back to Canada for good. It was good to go out as a treat because living simply does not include many trips to nice places. (However living simply does not equal lack of fun!) I had some good conversations and found out that one of my friends was once a preacher. We had a good discussion and decided that some day we will get together for coffee to discuss religion when we are not trying to also socialize with literally 20 other people. I know I have mentioned my friend Anna before and she was there as well. We haven’t been able to catch up for the past couple of weeks and it was great to talk with her. She is one of the most honest and genuine people I have met in my life and her honesty has helped me in many ways. I was debating something internally that I told her about and she told me of a mistake that she had once made. She told me so that I could learn from her mistakes. What a wonderful thing to admit your wrongs so that someone may benefit from your experience. Once again laying down ones pride has many benefits.

Thursday morning I woke up a little late and was freezing. Then I realized that it had been raining all night. When I went downstairs to go outside I realized that our basement was flooded. I had to go back upstairs and put on plastic bags around my legs because I didn’t want to walk through the water without boots. Sarah said that since she had the day off she was going to have to build us an arc.
I then proceeded to wear my thin hooded sweatshirt all day. It never got below 70. :)

This weekend was good. On Friday night we went out with the Sisters driver and one of his friends. It was really relaxed and we just hung out. Later I ended up meeting with a friend and having a long conversation about religion. He doesn't believe in God and said to me how much patience I have for those who don't believe in God. I then told him about my best friend from High School who I've debated this with hundreds of times and he then he understood. It made me grateful for all of the people I know back home and how they shaped me into the person I am - I couldn't be who I am without those I love.

Saturday I took a friend shopping, and then ran around the City with another friend that one of the sisters asked us to take care of. Finally I went to a birthday party but went home and was asleep by 11pm because I was so exhausted. Sunday morning is a wonderful time and I look forward to the rest of my laid back day. Enjoy your week!

Rememeber there are always people who will bring you hope and joy. Enjoy their company and never take them for granted.


Wishing you all the best – Love and prayers,
Ashley Ann