10/26/2009

(First and foremost - this is not really about my experience in Georgetown & I don't have to work until 11am so I thought I would come and write this)

The past few days I have spent a great amount of time reflecting on the past. Since being here in South America I've come to realize that the person who I am here is a complete collection of all of my past experiences and the people I have known. Often times when I become home sick or sad I want a friend to talk with or a family member to laugh with and that is not possible. However being the Catholic that I am - I very firmly believe in the Communion of Saints*. This meaning that I believe those in heaven can still very much pray for us on earth. So often times when I am angry at God for the destruction here I ask my Dear Uncle to help me see through the Lords eyes. It is a way for me to always talk with someone that I love.

Now, many people may think that is crazy - but I am okay with that. I am okay with that because it is more important for me to believe that those whom we love have gone on are still an important part of our everyday life. I think it is impossible to sum up the effect that our loved ones have on us. And therefore it is impossible to ever be the same after they have gone. And that is a blessing - things change because things are different. Many times in our lives we ignore the problems in our lives and pretend that they are not there. Instead when it comes to the death of someone we love it is impossible to ignore the fact. You just can't imagine them back. And you weep because you realize that you had much joy in your life, and that is okay. The joy will continue to be there - however, it will just be in a different form. Sometimes I think we forget how blessed we are, for all of those who we love that have gone are still with us even when we forget.

When my great grandmother died I remember that it was really hard to go to her funeral because I was so close to her. I remember when I got to her funeral and saw her I started crying. And as I was trying to escape and walk into the corner to be alone I was engulfed in a big hug from which there was no escape. And he said to me: "You were blessed to have her for as long as you did, and you know she loves you very much." As I sit here now reflecting on this I think those same words apply to the man who spoke them. Death is never an easy thing - but it is not the end of life, rather it is a new beginning.

So to close I have two last things. One the ocean is never as beautiful as farm lake and two music can really heal the soul, and here is a song that healed mine:

Never Alone - Sara Evans:

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you
When it's time to go home
May you always have plenty
Your glass never empty
And know in your belly
You're never alone

May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
As every year passes
They mean more than gold
May you win but stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone

Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

Well I have to be honest
As much as I wanted
I'm not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you
When it's time to go home
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone


You have my prayers and love,

Ashley Ann



* (The Communion of Saints (in Latin, communio sanctorum), when referred to persons, is the spiritual union of all members of the Christian Church living and the dead, those on earth, in heaven, and, for those who believe in purgatory, those also who are in that state of purification. They are all part of a single "mystical body", with Christ as the head, in which each member contributes to the good of all and shares in the welfare of all.)