Enough Holidays

Dear Friends and Family, 

Did you have two different public holidays this week? I didn't think so!! Both the 1st of May and the 5th of May are public holidays. The first of may was labor day here, sorry, labour day, and the 5th of May was Indian arrival day. This is the day that is claimed the first Indians came to Guyana... or something like that. I feel like Guyana has more public holidays than any other country. I feel like there is at least one or two public holidays a month - CRAZY! 

Well Anyway, I spent this week as normal. I enjoyed having monday off. One of my friends is planning to go to the states to study and because of that she needs to take the SATs. Because of this I have been helping her study quite a bit this week. I even went to her house for almost the entire day yesterday to study.  I realized how rusty I had become at all of the math... but I was able to catch on quickly again and help. 

On Wednesday work at the hospital was CRAZY. I felt like every two minutes there was another case or patient that required a large amount of attention. I've really started to realize how terribly HIV is stigmatized around the world. People view those who have HIV+ as promiscuous and uneducated. Within my time here I have had one of my clients test HIV+ and after the results came back he admitted that he had only had relations with two women in his life and was faithful to his wife. This client to me was a real reality check. It helped me to remember that who am I to judge someone. I have really begun to be hit with the reality of this disease. So many patients talk about the hope of finding a cure, the pain of the stigma, and the reality of the fact that their health is in terrible danger. Yes, there is medication - but so many people don't want to take medications everyday, and eventually the disease takes its toll on everyone. I am finally starting to be hit with all of these realities because I am really starting to truly love the people I work with. To me I don't see or think about the HIV anymore, I truly think about the person. Although yes this is a beautiful thing it can be difficult when I think about the struggles they face everyday with little hope for a cure. 

I guess all of this thinking has really made me think about what it means to be holy. I feel that there are days when I  feel so confused to what it really means to be close with God. Back home I felt like I found my answer in the teachings of the church through my own studies. Here, I feel like I am trying to place together that which I have studied and my everyday encounters. One thing that I could never learn from a book was a lesson on forgiveness. Being here I have had to truly forgive people for terrible things and love them deeply after. This is a really difficult thing to do but it has taught me more about God and love than I ever learned studying anything. I've literally held hands and prayed with someone who has stolen something very important from me. This moment for me was surreal. I learned that life will give you moments where you question everything that you once believed, and you need to let those moments make you stronger. 

I was watching a young boy carry large buckets of water up some stairs because their house doesn't have plumbing and I realized that it seemed normal to me. I realized that it didn't strike me as weird. Then my student told me today that I started to stop speaking like "white people". She also mentioned that I "whine" a little bit more when I walk. She was telling me that I am more Guyanese now - Its crazy to see how things change. I am in love with Georgetown, with the Guyanese people, and with life here. Its good to be somewhere that you love doing the things you love. 

I hope you all had a good week. I am thinking of you - Please pray for my friend Henrietta who leaves Georgetown next friday. I will be very sad to see her go. She is a good friend of mine and has made a "lovely" impact on my life. (She is brittish) :) 

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

Love, 

Ashley Ann

P.S. I really enjoy this song - check it out - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gsld43ShCeM