God helps those who help themselves

Sometimes in life you know something bad is going to happen but there is simply nothing you can do about it. I feel like so often this can be a reoccurring theme at my ministry in Guyana. Sometime last month I had a patient come in to us and request a transfer to a different hospital. The reason they came in and requested the transfer was because one of the doctors at the hospital they were transferring to gave him some strong anti-biotics that made him feel better. However, they would in the long run mask the underlying problem. The program nurse was telling me how if he leaves this program and the doctors there don't understand what the real root problem is he will be dead within three months. The nurse tried to speak with him and I tried to speak with him. At the end of the day - it's ultimately the patients decisions. I told him how all I want for him is the best and I hope that he gets better and lives a long healthy life. We talked about the condition he had and how he needs to bring this up to his doctors at the other hospital. I wished him the best as he walked out of my office and said a small prayer that he would be alright.

Sometime this week one of the nurses says: "You know I saw ____ _____'s name on the death announcement". My heart immediately dropped. I was so frustrated that this young patient had died and that there was nothing I could have done to stop it. It's always difficult when we try so hard just to encounter failure.

Later this week we had what was called a Patners Forum where individuals representing the PEPFAR grant and NGO's who help support AIDSrelief were present. At the meeting one of the doctor's said: "In the end if the patient wants to die, if they are giving up on life and they don't want our help it is their choice. There are thousands of patients that we have to spend our time on who want to be helped." It may sound bad but I know what she was getting at. There are people who make the choice not to come to clinic, to miss their medications, and to allow themselves to fall into a downward health spiral. We make calls we ask them to come in and we even do home visits, but if the patient doesn't ever respond we reach a dead end. Sometimes I think after making a valid effort we need to respect someone's decision to conduct their lives as they will.

Another problem I once again encountered this week is patients who are convinced that God is going to cure them from HIV. I don't doubt that God has the power to cure someone from HIV, however I believe that God helps those who help themselves. I have finally just decided to encourage these patients to continually get tested if for some reason they believe God has cured them. I always tell them they should never come off their medications, always come to the doctor and do what's best for their health but if they are not going to do that then they at least owe it to themselves to take another test to make sure they were cured. Another problem with that is the ARV's that we give the point is to decrease the HIV in the blood so if someone has an undetected viral load it is possible for them to have a falsely negative test. This however does NOT mean someone is negative because HIV lives in different parts of your body not only your blood. Yes the virus in your blood can be undetected - but you still have HIV. So I say that if you come off and go away, which I DO NOT recommend, get tested every three months and come back to us when it shows positive again. Now hopefully it will still show positive the first time they've done it - but if not I do believe soon after they stop medications it will. Sigh.

Then I remind myself - nothing in life comes without battles and hardships. Each patient I deal with is a child of God and whatever they believe or choose I still need to love them as my brother or sister in Christ.

My supervisor Lisa has been here this week and that means that my week was extra busy. She came into country late Saturday night and we had our first meeting with her Sunday evening. She brought me some stuff that my Auntie Annie had sent her which made me very happy!!! :) We had meetings throughout the week and she visited us at each of our work places. My boss at the hospital told me that he told Lisa that I had to stay... haha! :) Much better than him telling her that he wanted me out of the place!

This week it was my friend Venus' birthday. She did something that I think was very admirable for her birthday and rather than asking for gifts she asked for donations. The donations were then used to buy a stove for a local girls orphanage. She raised enough money to by a nice five burner stove. I was so impressed by the generosity of her friends. I kept thinking of the words: "Whatsoever you do to the least of my people that you do unto me" - Jesus. Venus is such a generous and wonderful friend and I am very thankful that God has brought her into my life.

I brought Mother Teresa's book No Greater Love to work with me this week and left in my desk. I was able to read a couple of pages each day and remind myself to stay focused. One quote I found this week that I absolutely love goes:
"Remember that the passion of Christ ends always in the joy of the resurrection of Christ. So when you feel in your own heart the suffering of Christ, remember the resurrection has to come. Never let anything so fill you with sorrow as to make you forget the joy of Christ risen."

I feel that is such a beautiful quote and the motivator of my week. We are not Christians of Good Friday, we are Christians of Easter Sunday. We believe their is life after death, hope in affliction and joy in perseverance. There is always a reason for everything and as they say - if it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger.

Love and prayers,

Ashley Ann