Dear Family and Friends,
I can't believe that I have been in Guyana for over a year. I decided that it would be good for me to reflect back on the past year because one year really is a huge milestone. A year of my life has been spent outside of the USA and I feel as if it has only been a few months. I have decided to do a small monthly overview of life here and then just some general reflection on how I have changed in the past year. I posted a blog six months ago that was six months in Guyana - and yes, it is the same first six months, so forgive me if you have read it already :)!
September
(Picture - Us in the New York Airport... our Last photo in the US... we look terrible!!! )
September was a crazy month for me. I left my friends and family back home to a place where I was unsure of everything. I was embracing on a new beginning. I began my journey by meeting plenty of people who are now a very active part of my life, and also by meeting the mosquitoes who have also never left me. I reminded myself as I left the states that I was not alone, God has always been in Guyana I am just going to do His work there, and it was nothing new to Him.
I began my job as a care for the elderly teacher. I was amazed at the low levels of my students. They really fit the definition of the uneducated. I found students who would make me laugh and cry. Some students gave me so much hope by their attempt to become a better person.
I also began my one day a week job as an HIV counselor at Saint Joesph Mercy Hospital where I would learn to love the marginalized of the world.
I learned how to navigate the market and take the mini buses.
I also learned that Audrey Sarah and I would laugh and laugh a lot. We went out for the first time to a place called Jerrie's and began our adventure of our social life here.
(Picture - The Sisters of Mercy in Guyana + two Candidates)
(Picture - Our first spirituality night... Creating a prayer wall of our friends and family back home)
October
One of my students has a small child and one of my best memories from October was holding the child and walking around with the student. The small things in life can sometimes be big things.
I learned that I can wear jeans at 90 degrees and that I love life in the big city.
I took a trip out with the girls to a local festival called "Guy-expo" where we had our first experience with El Dorado rum! It was a great day.
I learned that church festivals here are full of games, good food, and LOUD music.
(picture - Me and one of the Orphanage boys)
I was reminded by a friend back home that friendships can still grow despite the distance. He shared with me his experience of counseling back home and I was able to relate with my experience here when he said: "I have been given the opportunity to love deeply and that love is life to me. I think we are united in that reality".
He was completely correct in saying that. We are all united when we love.
November
I spent a couple of Fridays with two of the older sisters, Sister Celine Marie, and Sister Noel. We would go to church together and then over to their house for dinner. They gave me an interesting perspective on Guyana and how it has changed over the years. They gave me strength and grandmotherly attention when I needed it the most, they are a great part of my life here.
I met my British friend Anna who has played such a great part in my life. She and I have great conversations and she can always put insight into my life. I am glad we have developed a great friendship.
I learned that my students not only respect me but that they also have a great protection for me. I learned that all the work I had put in during the previous months had paid off by their shown respect. I have learned to get respect you must first give respect.
I had a five minute conversation with my Uncle Warren and he reminded me that I was and am always fighting for something - whether it was back home or here... this helped me to realize that its okay - I still am the same person even on a different continent.
Diwali or the Hindu celebration of lights happened. It was a great and wonderful parade full of hundreds to thousands of what we would call Christmas lights.
(Learning how to make Pine Tarts from our Friend and Sisters of Mercy Candidate Joanna)
(Sarah and I at the beach)
December
We had our first retreat at Splashman's resort. I wish that I could say it was a great time but I spent most of it sick in bed.
I went to a carol concert at the Cathedral which helped me to remember the Christmas spirit even without all of the snow!
I learned that Mass at 5 in the morning can be difficult, but when its a Novena you just push through. I made it every day for nine days and one of the sisters even bought us chocolate at the end!!
I learned that Georgetown is CHAOS around Christmas time and that if you want to go shopping you better bring a shield with you to make it through the crowd.
(At the Christmas fair by the Orphanage... Me and two of the beautiful boys...!!)
I learned Christmas is not about the presents or the commercialism. Rather it is about loving - I learned to love three little boys who have now forever changed my life. They are sweet and beautiful boys who I could never forget. I also ate rice on Christmas day.
(Ms. Yvonne Nelson and myself at the Mercy Wings Staff Party - She teaches Catering)
(Me face painting at a children Christmas party!! My specialty was butterflies, hearts and stars!! HA!)
January
Lisa came to make her sight visit which was a good break from the normal routine in life. My schedule changed so I was working two days at Saint Joesph Mercy Hospital as an HIV counselor and three days at the school as a teacher. I love both of my jobs and find my joy in them. I have learned to love people from all backgrounds and this is something I am unbelievably thankful for.
I had a great celebration into the New Year with friends! It made me look forward to the upcoming year and that it would have to offer. I even got to see some fireworks, which may or may not have made me jump! :)
I learned that my family from back home is a rock in which I lean on. They sent me so many wonderful and generous Christmas cards that I could never forget the love that I felt when I recieved them. (And they are always welcome to send more!!)
I celebrated the Feast of St. John Bosco with all the boys at the Orphanage. We shared ice cream and laughed all night. I learned how much I had grown to love the boys in the few months I have been here. They bring a smile to my face each time I see them. I don't think I could ever leave the Orphanage without some positive experience each time I go there.
(Some US short term volunteers came to Guyana and we entertained them... We were playing dominos, something we do often here!!)
February
Mercy Wings had their 11th Anniversary and I was able to take part in the Church service and lunch afterward. It was a good day and Father Edwin the priest who gave a talk helped me to remember to look at the light even among darkness. He told us all that their is always hope and we can never give up on that.
(My girls in the Computer room!)
I took stickers to the boys for Valentines day and I learned that there is nothing better than have 20 little boys for a Valentine.
Masharmani, Republic Day, was a great celebration had by all. (Equivalent to our Fourth of July) We watched a parade, we danced a little and we stayed out late enjoying the celebration of the nation! I even went to the Mash celebration during the weekend in one of the outer districts (Berbeice). It was a much smaller celebration but fun was still had by all. I learned that the Guyanese really do know how to celebrate well!!
March
Phagwah the holiday where one can walk around the street and see people with powdered dye covering their whole body. My Phagwah day started out wonderfully because Sarah and Audrey went to a church service later than mine and when they came home I heard them say: "No one Phagwahs before 12 eh?" (Which is what I had hear the night before) As they walked up the stairs I could see the dye smeared across their face. I laughed so hard! We spent the day running around getting glitter and dye all over ourselves and our friends. It was one of the highlights of Guyana.
Other than that we had our annual Lenten retreat. I really learned at this retreat just how much I appreciate Audrey and Sarah. As a community we laughed together and we grew together. I will never forget the three hour walk I took with them on the Seawall during that retreat. I felt fully accepted and completely loved by two other very wonderful people.
April
First of all April was an awesome month because it began with Audrey’s birthday. We all had a really great time going out for her birthday and dancing the night away. Let me tell you Audrey really knows how to move!
Easter here was a really good experience. On Easter Monday everyone goes out to the sea wall and fly kites. We also went out with the boys to fly kites which was also really great. I really enjoyed spending Easter here. It was really laid back but at the same time good. There was no Easter Bunny - but there were plenty of kites.
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| My favorite Audrey Picture |
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| Watching the Kites together... |
Audrey’s family also came in April which was a big blessing to have visitors from the states. I was really encouraged by the fact that Audrey’s family seemed to care so much about Sarah and I and it gave me a second wind.
There was a mini bus strike in April for a couple of days which made getting to work interesting and made me appreciate the drivers and conductors for all they do.
In April we took another creek trip – I thought I would post Audrey’s reflection from her one year news letter of her experiences at the creek:
“Sunday creek trips are definitely part of the Guyanese experience, and they are always an adventure. Ashley befriended one of her student's families around Christmastime and we have all become good friends since then. The mom's name is Aunty Vanni and she has 2 sons, a daughter, and an adopted nephew who are all around our age. So whenever they plan a creek trip, they always invite us now!
A typical creek day starts with a departure time of 11am. We arrive at Vanni's house around 11 where they are still in the process of cooking all of the food for the day (a giant tub of rice, roti, curry, cook-up, etc.) Around noon, the minibus arrives. At 12:30 we start loading into the bus, and around 1:30 everyone has finally arrived and squeezed into the bus. We speed out of town, usually making at least 1 or 2 stops along the way for various people and/or items. After a 45 minute drive, we finally arrive at the creek! The rest of the day is filled with eating, swimming, soccer, listening to music, dancing, and liming (hanging out). The guys usually entertain themselves for at least 2 hours by running and jumping/diving into the water, one right after the other in a continuous line. I think the fact that they almost land on each other every time is why they think its so much fun!
FYI, the water in the creeks is called "black water." This is because dead leaves from the rainforest trees drop into the creek and leach tannins into the water, which make it look exactly like iced tea. When the water is smooth, it has a perfectly clear reflection in it of the sky, clouds, and trees because it's so dark.”
May
Another excerpt from Audrey begins May:
“At the beginning of May we had a little mishap at our house (there's always something going on!)... there's a busy highway right outside our house with a sharp curve in it, and a police jeep was coming around the curve too fast, lost control, ran through our front gate, and rammed into the side of the house downstairs, right beneath my bed. So at 7am as I was enjoying a nice sleep, I was jolted out of my slumber by the sound of squeeling tires, the shattering of glass, the shaking of the house, and the smell of gasoline. Needless to say I was pretty freaked out and ran outside to see what had happen. Luckily nobody was hurt. After this, 2 hours of ridiculousness ensued in which a total of about 20 police officers were all pointlessly sitting around in front of our house doing nothing... no wonder the police are never available when you actually need them! A picture of our house was on the front page of the paper the next day though which was exciting. The police officer that was driving claimed that a dog ran into the road and he had swerved to miss it, but I had plenty of people tell me that he had to have been speeding and was probably drunk. Who knows...”
Other than this craziness our director Lisa came back into country and we had our transition retreat. It was good to reflect on being gone for so long and start to begin to get ready for a second year in Guyana.
Henrietta a friend of mine left in May. I was so glad to have met Hen and she made my days in Guyana very bright. Her now fiance is working here with ODI (overseas development international, i believe) and she came to be with him. She helped to volunteer at the orphanage and the boys all loved her sooo much. I know Audrey was glad to have her helping out! Hen is always a person who you can be completely honest with, no judgements. I miss her.
My birthday and family coming to Guyana were both at the end of May and I want you to know it was one of the BEST experiences I have yet to have. It was great to see my sister interacting with my friends and co-workers and then have the rest of my family join a week later! I was glad to share my life here with my family. I can now say that I really do miss them very much and as everyone in Guyana keeps telling me I must be really loved to have people come all the way from the states to visit me!! I have an entire blog post full of our adventures if you like to read in deatil. (Click me for family adventures!) We hung out, went to my jobs, went adventuring in the jungle, saw the largest single drop waterfall in the world and had many good meals and laughs!
June
One of my highlights from June was that I took a day and cooked for my friends. I have a family as Audrey mentioned above that I spend quite a bit of time with and instead of me going over to them empty handed I ended up making some good Italian food and bringing it to them. The day was spent eating, sitting, talking and napping. It’s the small things for me in Guyana that have the biggest memories.
I would also like to say that June was Sarah’s birthday and once again we had a great time. We never cease to enjoy going out together. Sarah came home from work and said she was too tired and that we were just going to chill at home... but after some bread and a rum and coke Sarah decided we needed to celebrate! No objections here!
The only major thing that happened was our school took a field trip to a prison. Its amazing how much compassion I found having a heart to heart with someone who was convicted of murder. It reminded me that forgiveness and compassion are really a gift and a skill that we must constantly be working on. Going to the prison really helped my students to see that there are real consequences for their actions and that freedom is the most important thing we all have.
July
In July Mercy wings closed and all of my beloved students graduated. It was a rush of emotions for me having been with them for the entire year. They made so many changes and I felt like they were different people from the beginning to the end. I know that at least I was a different person than the person who had entered the gate in September. Graduation was bittersweet, I was glad to see them all move on but at the same time I was sad because they had become so much a part of me and my experience here.
Another thing that happened is one my friends was in an accident which really changed my perspective on life here in Guyana. Life is short and we can never forget that.
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| Audrey, Ashley and Ryan |
I started to teach a computer class with Audrey and a new volunteer Ryan who was here for six weeks. We taught from 9-12 and the other days of the week I worked at the hospital. Teaching kids in the summer was a nice new break from the teens. I do miss teaching small children.
August
And finally August... One of my highlights was that Audrey and I went to a Mavado concert. Mavado is a Jamaican artist and his music is very popular here. It wasn't so much the concert but at the end of the concert Audrey and I were talking about how we felt very comfortable with everything going on. I guess a year ago being in a large crowd with music and all the newness would have driven me crazy and the concert made me realize how adapated I really have become.
We celebrated one year in Guyana by going out to a Brazilian restaurant that left us all stuffed and happy. Sarah had friends come to visit.
The best two parts about August was I took two different trips. The first trip was to Santa Rosa which is an Amerindian Mission where one of my co-workers lives. I went with three other ex-pats. I actually had a lot of fun just getting away and seeing the beautiful landscape.
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| Coconut at Santa Rosa |
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| Look Mom, I can use a Machete! |
And finally I had one of the best experiences I have ever had in Guyana at a Hindu Wedding. One of my students Naameshawari invited me to black bush for her sisters wedding. I will remember this weekend for the rest of my life and I will always be grateful for how life changing this experience was. Her family was warm, welcoming, and made me feel so much like at home. (Except we didn't have electricity, just a generator, and no running water...maybe that's the point home doesn't need to be extravagant!) I could go on for a long time but you can read more about my experience here: (
Hindu Wedding)
General Reflections
Faith:
I have learned so much when it comes to living out my faith life. I have had to learn how to make each and every action of my day a prayer. So many times by the end of the day I am just exhausted and fall to sleep before I even think about praying. After a while I realized I could be waiting to pray at the end of the day but look at how God is speaking to me at each moment. To say a silent prayer while talking with a student or just to know that God is there when I am playing with the boys. I feel very much that I am walking with God during this journey and I feel at complete peace that I am where I am meant to be. I very much enjoy the masses in Guyana and have found myself fond of the music. I am going to miss the songs that are only popular here when it is time to go back. One of my favorite lines that has been a constant prayer in my head through my time here goes: "I forgive you, I love you, You are mine, Take My hand, Go in peace, sin no more, Beloved one". I often feel like God is speaking that to me while I am here. So often I mess up and do the wrong thing, but here I have learned that its okay - God loves me. For some people knowing God loves them is natural - for me this is difficult as I have always been a rules person and more focus on right and wrong rather than love. Guyana has helped me to focus on accepting the Love of God.
Personal Growth:
I think if there is one way that I have grown in Guyana more than any others it is that I have learned to stop stressing over the small things in life. I used to get worked up over all the small things and now I realize that doing that is just going to make me old fast. I am comfortable with exactly who I am. Yes there are things wrong with me and I always need to grow, but if I continue to look at everything and get worked up about it then I am wasting time. Things will change as I work on them - so why beat yourself up. I've also learned that its not the scars in your life that make you different from other people its the gifts that you have to offer the world that make you unique. I used to focus too much on the negative when now I realize life is too short. One ounce of happiness is worth a thousand pounds of sadness when serving God. Its impossible to always be happy - but its when we continually choose to be sad and focus on the negative because its whats comfortable that we get out of control. I get frustrated and sad just like a normal person but I now realize that the struggles are not something I should identify with, rather I should identify with the fact that I am strong enough to overcome the obstacles that are thrown my way. :)
Community:
Sarah and Audrey have by FAR been one of the greatest blessing I have received in the past year. They are always there for me and I love them dearly.
They work to understand and grow with me. I feel that Audrey put our community very well in her one year letter and once again I am going to copy from her:
" Community living has continued to go wonderfully! Sarah, Ashley,
and I have officially made it one year without having a fight! Amazing,
right? Although we do tend to get along pretty well, it still takes
time and energy to make sure things work out as well as they have.
Honestly, Ashley and I are complete opposites, and when we first met we
thought we were going to hate each other. But through community living,
I've learned that it's possible to live with and even love your
complete opposite-- you just need to have faith, patience, and
understanding with each other at all times. I really think this is what
has enabled us to get along so well and form such strong bonds with one
another. Living in community has also taught me when to have control
and when to let go and let someone else have the control. So maybe
Ashley doesn't cook spaghetti the way I normally would or Sarah doesn't
do the dishes my way, but really, these things aren't worth
getting worked up about... you just have to let it go. Ashley and I
taught computers together this summer, and our ability to sit on the
sideline and let each other take control at different times during the
course is really what enabled us to survive teaching together for 5
weeks."
"You've got troubles, I've got 'em too. There isn't anything I wouldn't do
for you. We'll stick together to see it through cause you've got a friend in
me."
- Randy Newman
General Feelings:
I feel at home in Guyana. Its hard to believe sometimes that things are different here than they are back home. I was picturing my house back home the other day and I thought to myself: "Wait... there are no bars on my bedroom window back home". I feel like in my mind the two worlds get collided a little bit. The other day I had the opportunity to take a hot shower. As I was in the shower I had to wash my face and I got quite distraught because it was too hot. I realized then it was luke warm at best and just turned it completely to cold. Its going to be an adjustment back. When I walk down the streets I see people I know often and I always feel like I am running into someone. People here don't call out "white girl" nearly as often when we walk around town because we are normal now. If you see the same person walking around the market every day eventually its nothing new and that transition has made me feel even more at home here. I do miss home but at the same time I feel like now I will always have two homes. Guyana will always have a special place in my heart and I do feel like I have finally adjusted to live here completely. The other day I hadn't had rice in two days and I started to crave it... I HATED rice when I first came to Guyana. Time can really change anything.
Things I've Learned:
1) Don't be too trusting. I've always been too trusting in my life and here in Guyana that has been a little dangerous at times. I have found that there really can be wicked people in the world and I now feel more confident that I am always thinking on the cautious side. My grandpa told me when I left Guyana that I always need to be thinking of "is this safe" - I feel he would be proud as today I feel I am very aware of my surroundings and what is going on. I feel that this is even more important now that I am used to things here and it could be easy to get complacent.
2) Its not the end of the world. Yes, things will go wrong, people will hurt you, lie to you and manipulate you. The thing is at the end of the day when I lay down in my misquito net the only other person there is God. At the end of the day and at the end of my life its just between me and Him. So i've learned it's not the end of the world and when someone hurts me - well they have to answer to God for their actions so I will let Him stress about it. I'm not going to waste my life and energy - then they just take even more away from me.
3) I'm not always right. Pride gets into the way so many times and often we always think we know best. Guess what we don't. We are not always right and quite often we are wrong. Start admitting when you are wrong and it will make life MUCH EASIER. Trust me. Also it will help you to grow in your faith because you then realize you have to rely on someone other than yourself.
4) My family will always be there for me, no matter what.
5) Ice cream is amazing and I do miss it - :)
6) You don't have to be in South America to be doing really great things. You can do really great things right where you are every day. Bored? Go to
http://www.freerice.com/ - Need to buy a nice gift... order from a social justice webiste like
http://www.tenthousandvillages.ca/ or
http://www.thehungersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=1
- Don't use the internet often? Then take some time to go and do something for your local charity. I was really provoked in thought by my grandparents who really love animals so they donate to the humane society. It made me think - hey - why don't people just do something that they like which could also turn to good. It was easy for them because it included something they are passionate about. I very much am inspired when people follow their passions no matter what they are.
So maybe you like to cook or bake... find a friend, a family, or someone who needs something to eat. Maybe once every six months try and do one of your favorite things to help someone in need. It doesn't have to be someone poor or dying it could be someone who has everything they need in the world but is lacking love. Mother Teresa talks about how being impoverished from the lack of love is the worst kind of poverty. I might be able to fight literal poverty but there are so many types of poverty in the world and yet so few people fighting the battle.
Friendships:
When I left the US a year ago I
thought that I knew exactly who I would keep in contact with and exactly
who would be there for me. If you were to tell me today those who are
important to me now I would be surprised and slightly confused - but in
the end its all for the best. I have learned that in order to keep up
international friendships both people need to put in quite a bit of
effort and this can be both tiring and draining. Amid the friendships
that have gone through the cracks I have found some solid friendships I
am now convinced will last a lifetime. My experience here has taught me
how we must be conscious in life and fight for those who we find
important.
I always think its important in life to take time to
thank those and acknowledge those who have really helped you and so I
wanted to take a moment to do that.
First of all I need
to thank Erica Riestenberg for her constant support. More than any
other friend I have Erica is a constant sense of support from the states
and I don't know where I would be without her. Brandon and Tasha Lehner
also deserve very big thanks in many ways. I know that I always have
their thoughts and prayers but also for being there for me when I needed
help. I want to thank any friend who I may have reached out to for
various reasons and for all of the help that I have received. I will
always be indebted to those who have made my past year hear a wonderful
experience.
I would also like to thank the
international friends I have met here in Guyana. A special thanks to:
Wai Wai - a close friend who always provided a listening ear and an open
heart when I needed it. I will miss my coffee dates with her as she is
now in Atlanta. Andrew - for being a true brother to me. Whenever I have
a rough day I know I can turn to him for a laugh, a good talk, family
guy, or cookies! :) Anna and Hen who I have already mentioned in this
blog, Dustin for letting me wash all my clothes when I broke out in
hives with a washer and a dryer! Gabe for letting me be ridiculous and
loving me all the same. Dave for being interested in my work and getting
involved with the orphanage himself!
Family:
My
family has been by FAR the BIGGEST support throughout my experience in
Guyana. Not only did some of them come to visit me here they are always
willing to help me out. I have received so much love from them all I
could never repay them.Many of my family members I have mentioned in
previous blogs - so for those who already got a shout out, sorry, you
had your turn :)
One of the biggest blessings is the my Auntie Deb
sends me many many greeting cards. I don't think people realize how much
it means to get a piece of mail here in Guyana and on many rough days I
am greeted by a card from her. It doesn't take my energy to send a card
- it just takes commitment and she has committed herself to making my
journey in Guyana a little bit brighter.
Another really HUGE blessing in my life is my Auntie Annie who
has helped me to keep in touch with the world back home through pictures
and letters. When she came to visit me she brought me a great album! My
Auntie Annie supports me in so many unsaid ways - and I will forever be
grateful and will end up taking care of her and my dear Uncle Warren
when they are old. See its in my blog now, so you have proof I said it!
:) I know they area always there for me.
I've always been a mommy's girl - and well I don't know what I
would do without her. It was recently her birthday and I never got to
give her a shout out - She is a great mother. Not because of what she
taught me but because she always encouraged me to be who I wanted to be.
She never forced me to be something I wasn't and no matter what I
choose to do with my life I know she will always be behind me!
I have so many other family members who support me that this blog
would get way to terribly long and boring. I am forever thankful for my
family and look forward to getting back to them next year! I have a lot
to catch up on and a lot of new recipes to share!
And finally to a close!
Well I guess I have written quite a lot here and I hope that you can see my life here is going well. Know that I continue to pray for my family and friends back home. In a year I will be back with you all and I am very much looking forward to that day. Until then I will be with you at Mass, Jesus unites us all. You have my thoughts, prayers and love.
Ashley Ann
Will try to upload more photos soon! Check out my sisters facebook pictures from when she came to Guyana!!
