Family, Family, Family

Hello All,

It has been two weeks since I have last written and the last two weeks have been busy, crazy, and AMAZING. On the 24th of May my sister flew into GT, and on the 29th my Mother, Grandmother, and Aunt flew in. I have so much to recap about :)

I was super anxious for my sister to arrive that the night before she flew in I had a hard time sleeping. I felt like I woke up every hour thinking that I had overslept. By the time the taxi came I had been ready for quite some time. The ride to the airport is about 45 minutes. The taxi driver that I had was real nice. His name was Giddel. One interesting thing that he asked me on the drive was: "Are you religious, and if so are you devout?" He then began to tell me how he thought one of the largest problems with the world today is that many people have beliefs but they are not devout enough in their beliefs. We say one thing but our actions do not follow through. I was pretty impressed by his desire to share this with me in the early hours of the day. He really was an inspiration to me. 

When I arrived at the airport I was so excited to see my sister I could hardly wait. She came out quickly and when I saw her I thought she looked like a lost duck... and when she found me it was like everything was okay. It was a pretty cute moment. This was followed by a car ride that had her gripping my arm! I sometimes forget how crazy people here can drive - I guess I've gotten used to this by now. I didn't let my sister off on an easy day.. right away I brought her to the school because it was one of the only chances she would have to be with my girls. We sat in the computer room and they asked her all kinds of questions. It helped me to remember what it was like when I first got to Guyana. It is hard to understand how people talk when you first arrive and I felt like I was doing quite a bit of translating :) The rest of the day we just walk around, I fed her, put her for a nap, and had a lot of good talks. 

Wednesday(5/25) I ended up going to work at the hospital and she ended up going up to work with Audrey at the orphanage. I know that she really enjoyed her day up there. She ended up reading some books to the first grade boys. The boys were all asking her tons of questions. At three Audrey brought her up to the hospital so I was able to show her some of the things that we do. I then walked home with her and Audrey. We rested for a while and then went to dinner with my two friends Wai Wai and Andrew. It was good for her to meet some of my friends because I had described her to them for so long. After dinner we ended up going out dancing. It was really fun - the first drink I bought my sister was rum and coke, there was such little coke she seemed really apprehensive but after one sip she said "Rum here doesn't even need coke!!". 

Thursday was a public holiday so we didn't have anything to do. Since we had this free day we ended up going to the pool and laying around for the day. It was a wonderful day just laying around and enjoying the sun. Thursday reminded me how to enjoy the little things in life. We got home from the pool, I cooked a little bit and then we ended up going to bed.

Friday we woke up to a rainstorm. We ended up catching a bus to go to work and made it to work on time despite the rain! When we got to school there was only six students and not all of the teachers had made it either. I feel like this was the point in which my sister experienced some of the really true laid back culture of Guyana. We were to go on a field trip that day at 10:00 am. We ended up not doing anything until ten but sitting around, and then when ten came it took the bus at least another forty minutes to show up. Brittany did get some good quality time with my students and one of them put "platts" (braids) in her hair. :) When we finally went to the museum it was alright but nothing worth bragging about. The only exciting part was there was a giant sloth replica in one room. The Sloth literally stood about 20 feet, it was pretty cool. My students kept touching it even though there was a very large "DO NOT TOUCH" sign. After the museum we went grabbed some food and then spent the afternoon shopping. Now this was an experience for my sister since  things here are crazy, hot, and confusing. At first she got frustrated and we both got frustrated at each other but after a few minutes things settled down and in the end we ended up having a good time. When we were buying our last piece of clothing we had only exactly enough money to take the bus back home... successful day!!! Friday night we ended up going out with my friends for my birthday. We started out at a bar and then ended up going dancing after. It was one of the highlights of the weekend!

Saturday we ended up running around, doing errands, Brittany got her nails done and I cleaned the house. Saturday was just kind of a day for us to relax. That night we went to the Mercy Hospital fundraiser. The food was good but none of us are really into "old time music" which it was a "Old time BBQ and Dance" so we only ended up staying for a short amount of time.

Sunday morning I woke up early once again to make the 40 minute trek to the airport. I was less nervous going to pick up the rest of my family than picking up my sister. When I got to the airport I only had to wait around 1/2 hour for everyone to show up through the line. It was crazy to see my Mother, Aunt and Grandmother walking through the gate. When I hugged them all and talked with them I was AMAZED by their strong Minnesota accents. It was the first thing that I really remember and it made me feel like there was home with me already. We took the crazy drive into GT and went straight up to the Grand Coastal. I chilled with my family as they showered and got ready for the day. It was great just to sit with them but it almost felt surreal to me. It was different that I expected but way better than I could have ever hoped. Eventually we went back to our house where we had a small lunch and get together for my birthday. We ate really good food that one of my friends had made and sat around and talked all day. It was crazy for me because it was like a collision of two worlds. I was with some people who have been close to me for months now, and my family who has known me forever and it was weird for me to see them meet. Although it was different it was a great experience looking back at it. Grandma and I then went to church and then met up with the rest of the group when we were to go to dinner with the Sister. Dinner at the Sisters was good. I was glad they got to see the house I lived in for a very short period of time when I first arrived and met the women who are so influential in my life. They are all older women but still full of much wisdom and strength in their ministries and lives.

Monday was my actual birthday so I woke up and ate breakfast with my family! :) We took our time getting ready and then went to Mercy Wings the school that I teach at. It was really good to show them the school because I now hope they are able to connect my stories with pictures. The students were all really excited to meet them and they still ask me when my family is coming back. My co-workers all commented on how everyone in my family all looks similar. Everyone kept getting confused on who was who and it was pretty comical. After the school we ran up to the hospital and took a small quick tour. We got to see some of my co-workers which was really good. We quick grabbed something to eat in the canteen and then headed up to St. John Bosco orphanage. It was good for my family to see the school, and shortly after school was over they were able to play with the boys a little bit. The boys are one of my favorite parts about Guyana so I felt blessed to be able to share that with them. After Britt and Grandma went up to the hotel and my mom, aunt and I went running errands around town. This is when they met their to be favorite taxi driver "Wesson". My aunt kept calling him "Russel" until he said "Wesson, you know like the oil". It was all really funny and cute. That night we went for a really good dinner at the Pegasus for my birthday. Audrey and Sarah were able to join us for dinner which was really cool for me because they are like my family here.

Tuesday we woke up and our plans had been changed a little bit because it was raining. We ended up going to the City Mall and shopping. Not only did we shop but everyone ended up getting their nails painted, except Britt and I who ended up getting our toes painted. It was a fun adventure. We got some cute shoes too! (which my family ended up taking mine to the states :( ) After the mall we ended up going back to the hotel to eat some lunch. We all then hung out around the pool until we had to go to the sisters. We first went to Sister Noel and Celine Marie's house. It was a really good visit as they are so sweet to us. After our visit with them we had to head over to Pere Street convent to visit with the sisters. This was also a very good visit as these are the sisters that we live the closest to! After all the visiting we ended up just going home and chilling.

Wednesday was one of my Favorite days! We woke up and went to the El Dorado Rum tour. This is a tour in which you get to see the process by which the rum is made! After the rum making tour and seeing the warehouse where the store it all we were able to have a rum sampling tour. This was a really fun part. You get to test each rum 3 year, 5 year, 8 year, and 12 year. They then mixed the rum with different things to try it with and talked about things like "bruising the rum". It was pretty exciting. After the rum tour we had a very quick change around and got on the bus to go to Arrowpoint Resort. We had about a 45 minute bus ride and then an hour boat ride to the resort. The Resort was beautiful when we first arrived. It was so absolutely quiet I was shocked. I hadn't been somewhere that quiet since I arrived in Guyana. It was a huge relief to be somewhere peaceful and quiet.

Arrowpoint resort was AMAZING. It is a resort that is full of activity and peace. We went on a walk through the jungle, and then we kayaked our way back to the resort down the river. Even my grandmother got herself in and out of the kayak! The kayak was one of my favorite memories because the water looked like a mirror and everything was green and beautiful. I was in a kayak with my mother and well... its been a while since she has steered any motor craft manually - but we ended up having a great time. After that we had a beautiful dinner around a bon fire on the beach. The night ended with a night walk through the woods where we saw a GIANT spider eat a grasshopper! The guide on the night walk was great and he even told scary stories! My family may have freaked out a little bit... my mother and my aunt may be brave people in character - but not in the jungle at night! When we finished the walk we went Cayman (small alligator) spotting. That was a lot of fun and we saw quite a few. I also saw a big snake hanging from a tree :) Yay for wildlife. We all went back to our rooms and I tucked everyone into their mosquito nets. Once everyone was tucked in we passed out until it was 5:30 am when we got up to go see the birds.

The morning was beautiful! We went to go see the largest species of hummingbirds in the world! We saw them and they were very beautiful. We were also able to see a tucan! After our bird watching adventure we went back and I took a nap in the hammock. After that we ate breakfast and had a break until we were to go visit the Ameridian village called Santa Mission. The visit to the village was good. There was a 300+ year old tree, a craft shop, and lots of interesting trees. It rained a little bit, and although I complained, rain never killed anyone. After that we had some break until lunch. After lunch we just hung out by the water until our epic bike ride through the jungle. My mom, aunt, and I went biking and I was the only one to run into a tree. (I may still have a huge bruise to prove this) The bike ride was pretty awesome. I wish that I could go biking through the jungle everyday! After that it was sad but the truth was it was time to go. We took one last jump in the creek, got our stuff together, and hopped on the boat to go back to Georgetown. Once we reached GT my family went to the hotel and I went home to clean up. We all ended up meeting together that night and ate dinner. We all ended up going to bed early.

Friday I woke up and I did not feel well at all. I don't know what was wrong but I was defiantly sick. We all went into town to take a walk around my neighborhood. It was an interesting walk and I think my family got a little taste of the CRAZINESS of my daily life. Sometimes I forget how crazy things can be around here until I have someone from back home experience them. By the time we got to the grocery store and bought some food a few family members opted to take a taxi home and avoid the craziness.   I ended up running around town with my mom and aunt while my sister and grandmother went back to the hotel. We saw all of the typical Georgetown sights and also ate some "green mangos". When we finished they dropped me back at the house where I passed out for three hours because I felt so sick. We ended up meeting up for dinner at a very good Brazilian restaurant and then going back to the hotel for bed. I was really sad that I had to sleep but there was just nothing I could do, if you are sick you are sick. Life goes that way and you can't dwell on it I guess.

The next day we went to Kaieteur Falls. Website... click here!  <-- Really click there its legit and then I don't have to explain so much myself. haha :) If you clicked on the website then I don't really need to expalin how amazing our day was. The flight was good and beautiful, the weather was good, (just a little mist) and the company was the best.

Once we got back from the waterfall we all went back to the hotel. I had to collect some things from my house and then went out. The last night we ate together and hung out with a couple of my friends. It was a very relaxing last night. I was really glad to just sit around and talk.

Sunday morning I woke up at 4am and said goodbye to family near five. Although surreal because it was so early in the morning it was really sad to see them go. It was a wonderful experience having my family here. I think that it really changed my view on my mission here. At one point to me my sister said: "You just don't understand you've changed and we haven't and sometimes you forget that". It was difficult at first to be hit with reminder of life back home but after a short time I was able to adjust and remember my life and what exactly it was. It reminded me that my transition back home will be difficult but not impossible and that although people change and this can lead to some difficulties really in the end it will just enrich your relationships. Once I was able to get over the small reverse culture shock I encountered, I was able to remember the things that were important in life which is those that we love. I can't say how much it meant to me to just sit down and talk with people that knew me so well. Even if we weren't talking about something important there was something powerful about being with those who have known you for your entire life.

You don't choose your family.  They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.  ~Desmond Tutu

I find this quote to really describe what I was reminded while my family was here. You don't choose who you are related to - but the point is that you are with these people for a reason. I believe there is a reason for everything and each person in my family came to Guyana for a certain reason. Each of them reminded me of how much love God has for me and how much love I have back home. If it wasn't for my family I wouldn't be able to do all of this work here and feel so supported. Even my family back home that was unable to visit was a huge support to me during the week that my family was here. I am blessed to have such a giving and loving family. 

Well I am trying to get my family to give me some stories to share with you! But until then I feel like this is enough for now. I will try and get some pictures up soon!

Love and Prayers, 

Ashley Ann 

Forward Backtracking...

Good Day Everyone,

I felt like it has been a long time since I blogged because of my weekend gone on retreat. Our retreat was a nice weekend. We spent a lot of time in prayer and reflection. It was good for me to go and think about where I had been at the beginning of my experience here and how much I have changed. The bible story that we reflected on for the weekend was from the gospel of Luke:

Jesus Calls His First Disciples

 ¹ One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret,^[a] the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. ² He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. ³ He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.

 ⁴ When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”

 ⁵ Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

 ⁶ When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. ⁷ So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

 ⁸ When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” ⁹ For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, ¹⁰ and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.

   Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.”

For me the part that stuck out the most was from verse five when Simon responds to Jesus. Sometimes I feel like I can be such a Simon telling the Lord that i'm tired and worked hard and I just don't have the faith to do more, but if He tells me to I will. Sometimes it can be really difficult to have that extra faith to try again when reason tells you not to. God is always with us whether reason tells us that or not. 

I've also been doing a lot of thinking about the past year. May is the month of my birth and of my high school and college graduation. Its crazy to think it has been five years since I graduated from high school. There are so many people who shaped my life back there to make me who I am. I remember having a conversation with my good friend Steve and I told him how I really wanted to do international service at some point in my life. I told him how I didn't know if it would ever happen because I don't know what my family would think. Steve always reminded me to follow my dreams. He also always reminds me to not worry with what other people say. I sometimes worry to much about what people think about me, or if people like me. He tries to remind me that at the end of the day the only person that it really matters to is myself. If I am striving to do the best I can why should I stress so much on what other people think. 


Its been a year since I graduated university and all of my friends have gone in crazy different directions. John is finishing up his year on net, Sara will soon be entering her second year of focus, Erica is finished with her classroom aspect of her clinical program, Andrea and Sam graduated from UMM, and Zach finished his first year as a teacher. Its crazy to think that a year ago we were all together. There are many people who shaped my life at UMM and I am grateful for them all. (Many not mentioned) I have many wonderful friends here in Guyana but reflecting on this is somewhat sad as I miss these people who really know the true me. They understand my dreams, goals, and frustrations. I am forever grateful for this understand that they have of me and their friendship. 


This week our school Mercy Wings had its "Open Day". This was a day for other schools to come around and see the different things that we do at the school. The morning was really good because we had three schools come. I had the students explain the different computer programs that I had them working on throughout this year. The afternoon was not as successful because it started to rain really hard, and well no one here likes to go out in the rain. I hate to go out in the rain. Open day made me realize how improved my students have become at the computer. It gave me a little extra boost of confidence because it shows that all the hard work is starting to pay off. 

This week at the hospital was fine. On monday it is typically really busy but this monday was quite slow. I also didn't work on wednesday because we had open day at Mercy Wings. I work on a computer program at Mercy Hospital that often times makes me quite frustrated. I was complaining about the "stupid" program and someone this week said to me: "You like to do it because deep down inside you really like to help people". (or something along those lines) Now this person doesn't really know me at all. In fact most of the time they just give me hard time but when they said that it kind of hit me and I realized he was right. No matter how much I complain about the stupid program and charts I will continue to do it because that's what I do. It makes me think of my friend Adam who would in high school who would always say: "Ashley you're too nice" all the time. Sometimes he's right, there needs to be a balance between being too nice and letting people take advantage of you and doing things for others because you enjoy being nice. I am trying to find the balance between the two. 


Anyway...


On thursday my troublesome group of boys was actually extra good. I am not sure what their parents fed them that morning... but lets just hope that they are that good for the rest of the year. It was an extra blessing I was very grateful for. Thursday night was also really wonderful because our director Lisa and her new fiance came over for some chicken curry dinner. I made the chicken curry and they brought us ICE CREAM!!! I never thought I would be so excited for ice cream. :) Its the simple things that people do that can really make your day. I thought it was extra sweet that they would go out of their way to get something for us. Sweet people :) 


My sister comes on TUESDAY. I am super excited for my sister to come! I know that it will be a crazy collision between my world back home and my world here but I am ready for it. My mother, grandmother, and auntie come to see me on SUNDAY (coming). I am pumped. 


Today I was walking to catch a bus and I realized how most of the times when I catch a bus, or walk to a bus I end up having to go some distance in the wrong direction to get going the right direction. I also realized there is really nothing that I can do about it, it is simply the way that the mini bus routes run. This makes me think of my friend Seth because my friend Seth HATES backtracking. I also hate backtracking but I just can't help it. As these thoughts were running through my mind I thought about the fact that its kind of like life. Sometimes we feel like we are going backwards but its the only way to get moving forward again. Sometimes this is difficult to see but we just have to trust our feet beneath us and keep our head up. Its amazing how little funny thoughts can turn into teaching moments. It made me feel a lot more relaxed about a few things in my life. 


Well I hope you all have a good week. I know that I will! :) Well at least I hope so! :) Be confident in hope!


Love and prayers, 


Ashley Ann

Retreat!

Dear Friends and Family,

I am going on retreat this weekend so I don't have too much time to blog. This week has gone by soo fast! I feel like everything finally got back to normal after a lot of time on holiday. It was good to get into the normal swing of things.

We had a really good weekend last weekend enjoying Hens last few nights. We had a get together at her house and ate tons of food. One of my good friends came over and we cooked together. I have really enjoyed learning to cook here! I mostly just washed the dishes and observed but "just now" I will be able to do it on my own. I have to admit I make a pretty good chicken curry.

I really don't have a ton of time - but I am going to share with you a poem that really has helped me to think since I have been in Guyana:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

May you have a blessed week - until then :)

Ashley Ann

Enough Holidays

Dear Friends and Family, 

Did you have two different public holidays this week? I didn't think so!! Both the 1st of May and the 5th of May are public holidays. The first of may was labor day here, sorry, labour day, and the 5th of May was Indian arrival day. This is the day that is claimed the first Indians came to Guyana... or something like that. I feel like Guyana has more public holidays than any other country. I feel like there is at least one or two public holidays a month - CRAZY! 

Well Anyway, I spent this week as normal. I enjoyed having monday off. One of my friends is planning to go to the states to study and because of that she needs to take the SATs. Because of this I have been helping her study quite a bit this week. I even went to her house for almost the entire day yesterday to study.  I realized how rusty I had become at all of the math... but I was able to catch on quickly again and help. 

On Wednesday work at the hospital was CRAZY. I felt like every two minutes there was another case or patient that required a large amount of attention. I've really started to realize how terribly HIV is stigmatized around the world. People view those who have HIV+ as promiscuous and uneducated. Within my time here I have had one of my clients test HIV+ and after the results came back he admitted that he had only had relations with two women in his life and was faithful to his wife. This client to me was a real reality check. It helped me to remember that who am I to judge someone. I have really begun to be hit with the reality of this disease. So many patients talk about the hope of finding a cure, the pain of the stigma, and the reality of the fact that their health is in terrible danger. Yes, there is medication - but so many people don't want to take medications everyday, and eventually the disease takes its toll on everyone. I am finally starting to be hit with all of these realities because I am really starting to truly love the people I work with. To me I don't see or think about the HIV anymore, I truly think about the person. Although yes this is a beautiful thing it can be difficult when I think about the struggles they face everyday with little hope for a cure. 

I guess all of this thinking has really made me think about what it means to be holy. I feel that there are days when I  feel so confused to what it really means to be close with God. Back home I felt like I found my answer in the teachings of the church through my own studies. Here, I feel like I am trying to place together that which I have studied and my everyday encounters. One thing that I could never learn from a book was a lesson on forgiveness. Being here I have had to truly forgive people for terrible things and love them deeply after. This is a really difficult thing to do but it has taught me more about God and love than I ever learned studying anything. I've literally held hands and prayed with someone who has stolen something very important from me. This moment for me was surreal. I learned that life will give you moments where you question everything that you once believed, and you need to let those moments make you stronger. 

I was watching a young boy carry large buckets of water up some stairs because their house doesn't have plumbing and I realized that it seemed normal to me. I realized that it didn't strike me as weird. Then my student told me today that I started to stop speaking like "white people". She also mentioned that I "whine" a little bit more when I walk. She was telling me that I am more Guyanese now - Its crazy to see how things change. I am in love with Georgetown, with the Guyanese people, and with life here. Its good to be somewhere that you love doing the things you love. 

I hope you all had a good week. I am thinking of you - Please pray for my friend Henrietta who leaves Georgetown next friday. I will be very sad to see her go. She is a good friend of mine and has made a "lovely" impact on my life. (She is brittish) :) 

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

Love, 

Ashley Ann

P.S. I really enjoy this song - check it out - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gsld43ShCeM

Happy Easter!!!

Dear Friends and Family,

I hope you had a blessed and joyful Easter. Life here in the past two weeks has been crazy and wonderful. We have had vacation from school and it has been a huge blessing. While we had vacation from school we had some of the orphanage boys over at our house. Well, we actually had all of the primary boys over. It was good for them to do something different and keep them busy during their time off. I got sick during the week and ended up spending some time in bed but I am healthy now!

I figured I would put up some pictures from the boys rather than trying to describe everything for a change in pace.

The boys from the orphanage always remind me to be grateful for what we have. They are really need so much attention but its just not possible to give everyone all the attention that they need. Everyone does a really great job to do the best they can, but nothing beats being in a family. I will always be indebted to the love they show me. The boys are very affectionate and that makes time with them so rewarding.

Easter here was a really good experience. On Easter Monday everyone goes out to the sea wall and fly kites. We also went out with the boys to fly kites which was also really great. I really enjoyed spending Easter here. It was really laid back but at the same time good. There was no Easter Bunny - but there were plenty of kites.


Life other than that has been good. I've been enjoying time off and relaxing. It is always so important to take time for yourself. I sometimes forget that I need to just relax and not stress. This is what the last two weeks have really been.

Other than that I've also been reading "The girl with the dragon tattoo" and its sequel. The book starts out slow but is REALLY amazing. I would very much recommend reading them both. While I was sick I ended up reading 581 pages in ONE DAY! It obviously shows how good the book was!

I am sorry this is short, but hopefully you enjoy the pictures. Know that I have been thinking of everyone back home often during the Easter period. I got a card from my Aunt the other day that wished me the best as I entered the season of hope. It was a really good reminder for me. This is the season of hope -

Be confident in hope!

Love,

Ashley Ann

Henrietta With Ramario

Getting the Boys to Help Clean up!

Ramario in the Hammock

Sleeping Boys

Family Photo After Easter Vigil

Kites on the Sea Wall

The Sea Wall/Ocean

Hanging out by the Ocean on Easter Monday

Coloring on the Veranda

No Snow Here!!!

Ola Pedro,

I watched my all time favorite movie last night 27 dresses... hence the greeting! I hear some of you got snow recently... Don't worry - I'm in the 90 degree heat and LOVING it!

I feel like just yesterday I was blogging for last week. I sometimes feel like everything goes by so quickly I can't even keep track of things. It is now halfway through April which means in just a little more than a month my family is coming. I like having things to look forward to but it also makes time go by so fast! I can't believe they will be here so quickly!

Work this week was stressful as next week is the end of the term. At school I spent most of my time assessing the students on their progress throughout the year. Assessing them on this was one of the most rewarding things I have done so far. I could actually see progress on their computer skills. Its rewarding to know that the work I put in with them actually is having some fruits! One of the students who had no idea how to even turn on a computer showed me he could successfully use microsoft word and powerpoint.

Work at the hospital was busy but and stressful. There is a couple of young patients who are not doing so well in the hospital. It is always really difficult to see young children suffer from HIV. Its difficult to know that they are dying from HIV and at no fault of their own. (Not saying people who get HIV are at fault!) It takes a lot of energy to mentally understand any good that could come out of a situation like this.

My student who has been in the hospital is slowly making progress but is still in need of much medical attention. Right now she is still waiting on blood but there is a huge blood shortage right now. They don't know how soon she will be able to get the blood but I will let you know the progress.

This week more than once I have been "stuck between a rock and a hard place" with little idea of how to get myself out. Being in these situations always makes a person more angry and vulnerable to the world around them. This is definitely true of myself, when I am in a difficult situation it is really easy to get defensive and look towards others. I took a long time this week to examine the mistakes I had made to bring myself into the situations that I encountered. This is a very difficult thing to do because it can go one of two ways. The first was is that I would blame everything on the other person and say that I had no fault. (Pride) The second way is that I would blame everything on myself and feel bad and think "Woe is me". (Scrupulosity) Neither of these options lead to a very healthy outcome. I began the week thinking like the second one, in the middle of the week was thinking like the first one, and finally by the end of the week I started to realize that may I need to think a little more along the middle lines. I have made many mistakes since being here, and I have many more to make but everyone around me also makes mistakes.

This was all made really clear to me when I went to a church yesterday and saw one of my own students. He gave me a really big hug and told me he was very happy to see me. He is an aspiring pastor and as we got to talking he said to me: "Well on Sunday we ask for forgiveness because we are all sinners, no matter how much we try we all sin". Such a simple message but so easy to forget sometimes. We are all at fault and we all sin against one another. Why is it that we always want to see ourselves as so perfect when we are flawed. Yes we should strive for perfection, strive for holiness but until we realize within our minds we will fall we will be battling pride and scrupulosity within our minds.

I am so blessed and happy to have so many students and other individuals in my life who help to show me light every day.

Well I hope you have a really good week - "If you can't feed a hundred people... then just feed one..." Mother Teresa!

Love,

Ashley Ann

Happy Birthday Kelsey

Dear Friends and Family,

Today is my best friend from high school's birthday!!!! I am missing her very much! We have been through the past 15 or so years of life together and I am sad to be so far away when she turns 23!!! :) She has always been a sense of calm and security through my life and for that I could not be more thankful!

Well this week has been an interesting one. Audrey's family arrived Sunday morning and it was really exciting. Not only did they bring us candy from home but it was just really good to talk with her family. They have been really interested in all aspects of our lives and its good to share what we have here with people who are closest to Audrey. It is also nice to come home to see her parents because it gives our house a little more "homey" feeling.

Work at the hospital this week was busy for me. I spent a lot of time doing clerical work because we are still working on reports. Finally on Wednesday afternoon I finally got everything done. Nothing was too exciting other than the constant movement. Seeing and talking with the patients is also very rewarding. I find an abundance of kindness and respect from the people I work with. I was working with a child who is HIV + and he was so sweet in my mind I said "I just want to take you home with me".

Work at Mercy Wings this week was rough. On Thursday morning I had to give my students an assessment. During the test they were really difficult. I was having a hard time keeping them quiet which is unusual for them. At the end of the test one of the students tells me how his cell phone had been stolen during the test. I ended up sending for the Co-Coordinator of the school because I knew that it was something I couldn't deal with. The students were searched thoroughly but the phone was never found. Although a phone wasn't found quite a few forbidden items were. The boy who's phone was stolen is super sweet and never causes any trouble. The boys who took it (Suspected to have) are very difficult and almost never cooperate. I guess the rough part about this is there is one boy in particular who I have seen change over the past month. He used to keep to himself, be respectful, smart, and always help out. Then he started to hang out with the boys who are suspected to have stolen the phone. Within the past month he has become more aggressive and disrespectful. Last week I asked him to clean for me and he tried to disrespect me in front of all of the other students. This was something that is very rare for him. I let it go and told him if he did it again I would make him clean the entire yard of the school. This week while we were taking the test he once again gave me problems. After the test had gone and the bell rang I called him into my class. We discussed his test and how he almost failed. I confronted him on the fact that last term he was the second highest student and that I expected better from him. When we were talking one on one I told him that he was being respectful. He responded "Miss I always respect you" and I said "You always respect me when the other boys can't see". He shamefully looked at me and didn't argue. I told him how I knew he could be and has been a better person, I asked him if I should expect this behavior from him to continue or if he would return to his normal respectful self.

This is the most difficult aspect of my job because it breaks my heart to see him go in the wrong direction. It's so difficult when you see the untapped potential of a student and see them waste their time and try and fit in. I pray that he is able to see the good he has in himself. I pray that all of my students see the dignity that they have.

My girl in the hospital is still struggling very much. Her breathing is still difficult and painful but she is trying to be a fighter. I was unable to talk with her because when I went in she was sleeping. We have been taking turns going to see her and bringing her juice and water. I continue to ask for prayers for her. It is difficult to watch someone suffer for so long.

One thing that i've really been reflecting on this week is the fact that so many times we dream big but do nothing. I was thinking about the lack of education in the world today and how daunting of a problem it is. Then I thought well what can I do to fix it? I am teaching in one small area of the world but that doesn't change anything on the broad scale. Then I realized that so many of my friends and family back home also have passions about things such as: being green, helping children, spending time with the elderly... etc. Then I thought of someone I personally know who wants to be very green however is too lazy to recycle things within their own home. We dream about a greener world but sometimes forget the small things we can do. I found that in Guyana I have had to learn that I can dream big but I must work small. Sitting and thinking about things doesn't get anything done.

I've also learned to try and do what I love to do this week. Sometimes I get so caught up in the things I need to do, how quickly they can be done, and who good I am at doing them. I forget to take time for myself. I think that was one lesson my aunt and uncle taught me earlier this summer. They both love to cook and so they cook. I was able to cook with them this summer and it really helped me to relax and enjoy my time before leaving. Its simple... do what you love, and love what you do.

May you have a blessed week. Know that I am praying for you and I ask for your prayers.

Love,

Ashley Ann