transitioning thoughts...

I wish that I could tell you that I've figured out my life and that I have a plan.  I still am yet to have a plan but that doesn't mean I haven't looked over tons of options. People keep asking me what i'm doing with my time since I've come home and I feel like that is a fair question and I feel like I need to find a fair answer.

I've been warned a million times that coming home to the states is more difficult that leaving for Guyana. I knew these words but I didn't realize how completely true they would be. I feel like i'm lost and floating around in a boat unsure of where the nearest land will be. I'm praying that the wind will blow me in the right direction because although I look at many options I still feel like I am in the dark.

For a while I felt like I didn't realize that I had actually left Guyana. I mean, America really didn't change. Everything around me looks the same, smells the same, and the people are generally the same. I felt like I was in some time warp where I had gone back two years and experiencing life pre-guyana. It took me until about my third week home before it really hit me that I truly was back. I know that sounds silly - but it's the honest truth.

I keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason and if God brought me to it, he'll bring me through it. There is a reason I feel unsure and unclear but I don't know the reason. It's kind of like when you are reading a series of books and the next book isn't being released for a few months and you are just waiting in agony for the book to be released. I think God is telling me "Ashley, I have the book written... you just have to wait for the right time". Sigh... I wish that time was now.

I'm getting used to things back home... drinking water from the tap, semi trucks, drinking fountains, sweatershirts, blankets, Direct TV, string cheese, smart phones, cars, and many others. I try to make the most of every day and not think about the negative things that come to my mind. It's not easy adjusting back and I'm thankful for those who are patient with me.

Breath in  Breath out... it will be okay...

Home Sweet Home

Hello!


Well, It has been two weeks and two days since I arrived on the soil of the USA. I can say that it's been a quick two weeks where I feel like i've done a lot of things and at the same time I feel like I haven't done much of anything.

After leaving Guyana Audrey, Sarah and I spent some time in Barbados. This was a great adventure for us because we were able to just relax after having to say some hard goodbyes. We stayed at Coral Sands Beach Resort and I have to say it was a great time. We loved it because it was off season and there were VERY FEW people on the beach. I think if it was vacation season the place may have gotten a little bit crowded but luckily for us that wasn't an issue. :)

View from our balcony 

Sarah soaking up some sun!

Did some journaling on the beach!

Me in the ocean!

The water was SOOO warm!

Audrey soaking up some sun!

Had to get a banks beer!

Cute lil Audrey 

Wow, I look a little roasted eh?

:) First Bajan dinner!

Sooo tired... 

I LOVE BAJAN HOT SAUCE... Also the CUTE waiter was very impressed when I asked for "pepper sauce" he looked at me and said: "Are you serious?"

Our last photo in the Toronto airport!

I am glad that I had the extra time to spend with Audrey and Sarah. I can say that the sun was great and it gave me a chance to think things over before heading home! 

I arrived to Minneapolis on August the 11th. At the airport to greet me was my Mother, Father, Sister, Grandmother (Theresa), Auntie Ann, Auntie Diane, and one of my best friends Erica! My sister even brought a gift bag full of clean underwear to the airport so I didn't have to stress about doing laundry that night! :) We got my baggage and all drove to a place called Joe Censors. There waiting to greet me was my Cousins Nick and Mike each with their respective girlfriends, my sisters boyfriend Timmy and my uncle John. We had a really great lunch! I was super excited to eat a blue cheese burger - one because I really missed good cheese and two because I really missed a good old fashion American classic! We drove up north to stop by my other grandparents (Jon and Diane). That was really great to see them and just take a moment to relax. We ended up ordering pizza and eating but then we once again had to hit the road to Ely. I was very glad to be home in my own bed that night. When I got home my friend Kelsey came over and we went to DQ. We met another friend Sarah there because she happened to be passing through town just for the day. 

The next two weeks that have followed have been full of lots of SLEEP, visiting, SHOPPING, eating, laughing, driving and relaxing. Unfortunately I also spent a little bit of time throwing up because my body hasn't been doing that good of a job at adjusting to all the dairy. I really shouldn't have drank so much milk - but it just tasted SOOO good. :) Opps!!

I have to say that my family threw me an AMAZING coming home party. My uncles grilled hamburgers, brats and hot dogs. My aunts all made different types of salads, fruit kebobs and desserts! It was SO great to see all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, great uncles, great aunts, grandparents, friends and even a couple people I had never met before! I spent the day running around talking to different people and over and over saying: "No plan yet!". 

Steve one of my best friends from high school came to see me!

My cousin Nick! He is such a GREAT friend to me! I missed him tons! 

My youngest cousin (on the Jamnick side) Kati Jo 

Don and Jill 

Brittany and Timmy

Ammie! 

Juice

Kelsey 

Eric 

MOMMYYYYYY 

Mary 

Cousin Nick again :) 

Auntie Annie

Cousin Andrew 

Sisters! (Brittany) 

Ashley, Kati, and Britts 

Timmy 

Cousin Kevin 

Auntie Shelly 

Uncle Joe 

Justin! 

Jill 

Cousin Don 

Auntie Deb 

Cousin Leslie 

Cousin Mary 

Nick 

Nick and Nikki 

Mom and Jackson 

Cousin April 

Rachel 

Auntie Deb, Uncle Bosh, Cousin Leslie 

Auntie Judy 

Uncle John 

Auntie Diane 

UM, Uncle Matt 

Cousin Mike 

Auntie Denise 

UW, Uncle Warren 

Father Seth 

Father Seth and Uncle Warren 

GRANDMA 

Mary 

Sunset over Farm Lake 

Campfire 

Staying warm!

Cousin Aaron 

Cousin Kati and Cousin Don 

Fire helped to keep us warm on a chilly august night!!!

These are only the pictures from my cell phone. There were plenty of other wonderful people who came but those pictures would be on the real camera. :) This is just a small smattering! 

I guess that I have some more reflecting to do - but at least you have a chance to see some pictures of two major events over the last three weeks. I promise to try and reflect some more and give an insight into what it's like being back in the USA very soon. 

Love and prayers, 

Ashley Ann